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Episode: Working Vacations: Why we do it and how to stop
I received a desperate email that read, "I\'m in leadership, working crazy hours, working through my vacation last week instead of resting, and the story goes on."
The gravitational pull is to always be connected, always available, and always responding- even on vacation. I\'ve done it too-taken calls on the beach while the kids swam, squeezed in a few emails before breakfast, dialed into a "quick" call during dinner, returning seven days later, tired and frustrated.
Why do we struggle to step away, trusting that others can and will find their path to good outcomes?
Reminds me of the children\'s book, "If You Give A Pig a Pancake" A cautionary tale of saying yes once, the Pig never relents from her requests.
Excerpt from the book
Book by Laura Numeroff
If you give a pig a pancake, she\'ll want some syrup to go with it.
Pig: May I please have some syrup?
When she gets all sticky, she\'ll want to take a bath.
Pig: May I please have some bubbles and a toy?
When you give her your rubber duck, she\'ll feel homesick.
Sticking with our Pig and a pancake analogy, here\'s the version of the story you\'re familiar with from your most recent holiday break. The new requests are like the Pig-never fully satisfied.
(Sunday night email) If you can join the call on Tuesday morning at 630am, I promise it will be a quick one.
(Monday text) After the call, May I please also receive a written summary and go ahead and put it into a few PPT pages?
(Tuesday email & text) There is an RFP we\'re working on that just came in-quick deadline. I would love for you to answer just a few questions on pages 12-28. Do you mind? It would be super helpful-its due before you return from holiday.
(Wednesday email) May I please have only two more hours of your attention, during that family dinner you\'d planned, the RFP client has a Q&A-the only time everyone is available. You can make it, right?
-You get the picture. It\'s not a vacation. It\'s what my friend calls "PTO-Pretend Time Off".
"If you don\'t prioritize your life, someone else will."
-Greg McKeown, Essentialism
In the modern world, rest is vital to replenish the nutrients in our creative engines. Prioritize your rest and recovery. Operationalize your values with better choices. Take responsibility and do your creative best with your own life. In your absence, trust that others will step up and in to solve the challenges of the day.
For your next holiday, borrow my out-of-office auto-responder. Here\'s the one I use, (Thanks Well-being thought leader Jen Fisher for the inspiration)
"I will be out of the office on vacation with my family beginning Monday, July 3rd, returning July 17th. I and my devices will be resting, replenishing my creative engine. I look forward to responding upon my return."
Out of Office autoresponder
Recover your life and enable yourself a real rest.
You can do this.
Keep going-
Aaron
Work Life Play Merch available here
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I\'m like WALL-E the Pixar Robot. My family giggles, but I pick up trash everywhere I go. I value caring for the planet and our home instead of stepping over debris in parking lots and trails. I kneel and clean as I go about life wherever I am. I\'m On Purpose when I\'m participating in restoring the planet\'s beauty.
Imagine how beautiful our world will be when 7.9 billion people care for our home.
Here\'s another On Purpose practice. I put down my phone when going through a check-out lane at a store or in a drive-through. I choose to honor and engage the human being before me. I believe Saint Paul "we are God\'s workmanship" we human beings are valuable, and I dignify the Divine in them by giving one another our full attention.
This way of operating in the world applies with senior executives or a customer service rep; I\'m On Purpose when I\'m dignifying every human.
Imagine how we will treat one another when we believe all human beings are valuable.
We will find ourselves Off Purpose, for moments, maybe for weeks and years, ignoring and running the risk of eventually forgetting what we value and believe.
The poet David Whyte worked with a group of particularly thoughtful managers, looking at how we sacrifice our personal desires (Off Purpose) on the altar of work and success. One of the women in the group shared a handful of haunting lines:
"Ten years ago\\u2026
I turned my face for a moment
and it became my life."
With grace and curiosity, pay attention to your compass needle. Notice when you\'ve traveled many miles without checking your instrumentation. Regularly ask yourself, "where am I? how am I? where am I heading?" It\'s much easier to make regular minor adjustments than waiting too long.
You\'ll be surprised to discover that after paying attention, strengthening your awareness muscle, making two-degree shifts, "what\'s my purpose, what am I here to do?" becomes easier to dance with. It won\'t be about having the correct answer anymore. You\'ll speak about the way you live, work, play, and love.
Stay alert. Choose being On Purpose.
Keep going-
Aaron
Work Life Play Merch available here
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\\u201cWithout going out into the fresh air, stepping away from the house, without getting caught in a storm, without getting cold, wet, without feeling hungry, a human being begins to lose their sense of frontier in their life. Their sense of edge in their own explorations.\\u201d
-David Whyte
When was the last time you stepped away from the house, took a long walk, and felt the cold air, the wind on your cheeks, grumbles of hunger?
Where is the frontier in your life? The unexplored edges of uncertainty. Forget the places of mastery and dominion. Where are you, the student, the novice, an explorer?
Where are you exploring the unknown, unfamiliar landscape of your life, the contours off the map?
Get outside, leave the pack and your sweater. Feel the cold. Remember that the frontier is where you feel alive.
Keep going-
Aaron
Work Life Play Merch available here
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Episode: Transmission For The Outsiders
I once believed, If I stopped writing for a while, a pause from publishing and promoting, I\'d more readily find the words below the surface.
I see now I may never catalog the anthologies of my soul while in silence.
I believed the world\'s volume and density were too much to puncture.
I broadcast on a lower frequency for those beyond the crowds.
I used to believe I needed to understand what I was trying to say; who\'s it for? What\'s it about? how will it help?
Now I know the grounded substance of my Life, my rooted strength, transmits "wake up to your Life. God\'s with us."
I\'m puzzled by five-year plans, same-day shipping, fresh strawberries in February, Alexa, and how humans claim to love while radically excluding.
Call me a zealot of simplicity, sustainability, and radical love of outsiders.
It\'s Love who wrote the play.
Keep going-
Aaron
Work Life Play Merch available here
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Backstory on running everyday
At the beginning of COVID, I decided to run a life experiment, inspired by\\xa0my son Holden\\xa0and the work of James Clear. 570+ days and counting, I\'m growing an everyday muscle- habit streaking -by running a minimum of one mile every day.\\xa0
Atomic Habits, Clear\'s book on\\xa0tiny habits, caught my attention, giving validation to my question, "How can I just do it-stop the fits and starts?" Here are a few core ideas to his work,\\xa0
+Become 1% better over time, not tomorrow.
+Make the new habit so small you can\'t fail.\\xa0
+Never miss twice.
+Root your new habit or practice in an\\xa0identity statement, e.g., "I\'m an everyday runner."
Keep going-\\xa0
Aaron
Work Life Play Merch available here
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Episode: We are Not Human Doings
Can you remember? Can you remember the last time you walked out your front door and wandered-no plans-no reservations-and explored your own backyard, the simple spots, maybe even the lost places?
Adventure awaits the curious-hearted, an escape hatch from the mundane and predictable tyranny of screens and mindless routines.
Rambling infuses joy into your life and reminds your soul that productivity and conquest are not your primary purpose here.
We are not human doings.
We are human beings intimately created to connect.
You can do this.
Keep Going-
Aaron
Work Life Play Merch available here
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Episode: Dropping the rock
I\'ve been thinking. I am thinking about dropping rocks, not seeing clearly, and being led.
By rock, I mean being stuck in the past, beholden to an old story no longer serving you, an old unresolved grievance costing you joy today.
My son and I were in Barcelona, Spain, waiting in line to explore La Sagrada Familia one-of-a-kind temple.
I\'d just been grumbling, a well-rehearsed old-narrative regret I\'d carried for nearly three decades. I\'m sure I\'d bored him ten times before. Here\'s how it went, "I regret never taking that study abroad summer course in Guadalajara, Mexico, before mom and I married. I wish\\u2026 I can\'t believe it\\u2026 If only I had\\u2026"
The story I was telling him there, on the threshold of one of the world\'s most holy and sacred spaces, was how different my life would have looked without this life-altering mistake that "I blew it-this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity." The punchline was always about how I would have traveled internationally, learned a second language, and become a more sophisticated world citizen.
Anecdotally Holden, shared with me about their recovery community\'s Drop the Rock meeting format.
Bring your rocks in with you. Drop the rocks you\'re carrying. Leave empty-handed. Lighter.
Standing in line, my heavy rock became apparent to me.
What a load of crap I\'d talked myself into.
Not seeing clearly
The saying goes, "We do not see things as they are. We see things as we are." Now Fifty years old, I\'d retold this regret story so many times that it\'d become unnoticeable, outside my field of vision. It was the interpretive lens, the way I saw and witnessed my life.
Here I was standing in Barcelona, Spain, (international travel) with my son (deeply connected in the relationship), practicing duo-lingo Spanish (learning a foreign language), working abroad professionally, returning from a week in the foothills of the Pyrenees mountains (a more sophisticated world citizen HA!).
HERE I AM! I couldn\'t see any of that. I\'d convinced myself my regretful decision thirty years prior would forever suppress my future.
I dropped the rock. I let go of the regret and the life-less interpretation of my youthful choice. I\'m radically allowing the voice of Love to heal me on the inside, unlocking more freedom.
Listen to the stories you\'re telling yourself on repeat. Drop the rock. See clearly. Allow the eyes of your heart to be enlightened to see clearly-to see ALL of Reality. Remind your soul we\'re being led. God\'s with us. Thru us and in us.
You can do this.
Keep going-
Aaron
Work Life Play Merch available here
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The modern world is a hindrance to soulful exploration. The naked soul of man is too timid, too armored to disclose whole truths quickly. Step slowly into the quiet, spacious places to explore the courageous questions that lay in wait beyond your full-throttled Life.
Maybe it\'s been a while since you had a bold conversation with yourself. Get out there. Forget the map. Get lost if you must.
With God as your guide, explore and whisper your questions. Stay out there. Then return with your heart forward and your spirit attuned to mapping the edges of your frontier.
Abundant, vibrant Life awaits. You can do this.
Keep going-
Aaron
Work Life Play Merch available here
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Also check out THE QUARRY, You can watch the trailer here\\xa0and read a review\\xa0here. (Amazon,\\xa0Apple TV, AT&T, Dish, DIRECTV, Google Play, Microsoft, etc.).
THAT EVENING SUN, available to rent the film on Vimeo.
Scott\'s documentary, HOLBROOK/TWAIN, is available on\\xa0Amazon,\\xa0Apple/iTunes, VUDU, or Google Play! Holbrook/Twain backstory and Collectors edition DVD set here.
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Morgan Snyder is more than my guest today. Our sixteen-year friendship is an anchor I repeatedly tether myself to for hope, truth, and joy. Our transformative reciprocity began when we were angsty younger men in our thirties. We\'d commiserate together. Now we celebrate. To relieve anxiety, we\'d pedal bikes in sync to reset our life\'s drive train. Our strategy? To conjure more energy, with an improved approach to come through for everyone except ourselves. Now we prioritize our soul\'s needs, joyfully contributing with wisdom\'s restraint in fewer places. Mashing those Colorado hills, Morgan was dictating his book aloud on how we can become the kind of man that God can entrust with power. He started with one question, "What\'s the most important thing?".
This book isn\'t for everyone, Becoming a King: The Path to Restoring the Heart of a Man.
Who is this book for?
It\'s for the hungry, curious, and humble enough to admit maybe there is a better way? A less-traveled path that leads to abundant, sustainable life? If you\'re a man who values questions over answers and journeys over destinations, this book can change your life. I\'ve walked and witnessed Morgan\'s excavation (a term you\'ll hear him use in almost every conversation) as a man, husband, father, employee, and friend. Before his inside-out restoration, restoring the heart of a man, he was intense. Today, he\'s still where he was unsettled and his winsome love and oxygenated Life with God is disarming and inviting.
-To the devout cynics, his warm "me too" rebel smile creates a safe zone to drop your guard.
-To the weary, he shows his scars underneath his flannel sleeves.
-To the polished and perfect, his empathetic, inquisitive engagement illuminates possible hairline cracks in the foundation.
For the few, the curious and open, there is a path that leads to life and few find it. Morgan is a trustworthy guide to this ancient path. Follow him. I do.
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A \\u2018pay the rent\\u2019 lifestyle is one that is based on living life for other people. It\'s about paying the rent, paying my bills, going to my job, doing what everybody else tells me. What happens is, slowly but surely, I start to erode away. I start to disappear because the things that matter to me, my core values, the \\u2018why I do what I do,\\u2019 there is no time for them anymore. There\'s no me because I\'m just trying to survive.
That\'s the problem with survival mode; all you\'re doing is getting through the day. You go home and you collapse and say, "I was so busy working, but what did I actually do that mattered?"
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\\u2022\\xa0\\xa0 You have to do work that lights you up
\\u2022\\xa0\\xa0 If you meet her at an event why you should start talking about yourself quickly?
\\u2022\\xa0\\xa0 What is a Less Experienced Equal?
\\u2022\\xa0\\xa0 How Pam could kick your xxxx if your ran into her in a dark alley?
\\u2022\\xa0\\xa0 How Pam started developing her voice picturing an imaginary thought bubble?
Keep going...
\\xa0
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