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One way we can foster deep and fulfilling relationships is by becoming more self-aware. It helps keep our relationships from slowly drifting to the shallow end of the pool, where they\\u2019re just not as much fun as they are in the deep end.

The problem is many of us are not nearly as self-aware as we think we are. How to become so is a challenge, which is the topic of today\\u2019s episode. So keep listening.

Some help from the 17th century

A number of years ago I came across an intriguing prayer. I wish I could remember where I found it, but I don\\u2019t. I\\u2019ve used it in several workshops I\\u2019ve given, and in fact, wrote a blog piece about it last summer. I\\u2019ll have a link to it in the show notes.

It\\u2019s simply titled \\u201c17th Century Nun\\u2019s Prayer\\u201d

I wish I knew something about the poet, especially her name, but I don\\u2019t know that either. As I read her prayer to you, see if you can figure out why I find it intriguing.

So here goes, 17th Century Nun\\u2019s Prayer:

An intriguing prayer

Lord, Thou knowest better than I know myself, that I am growing older and will someday be old. Keep me from the fatal habit of thinking I must say something on every subject and on every occasion. Release me from craving to straighten out everybody\\u2019s affairs. Make me thoughtful but not moody; helpful but not bossy. With my vast store of wisdom, it seems a pity not to use it all, but Thou knowest Lord that I want a few friends at the end.

Keep my mind free from the recital of endless details; give me wings to get to the point. Seal my lips on my aches and pains. They are increasing, and love of rehearsing them is becoming sweeter as the years go by. I dare not ask for grace enough to enjoy the tales of others\\u2019 pains, but help me to endure them with patience.

I dare not ask for improved memory, but for a growing humility and a lessening cocksureness when my memory seems to clash with the memories of others. Teach me the glorious lesson that occasionally I may be mistaken.

Keep me reasonably sweet; I do not want to be a Saint \\u2013 some of them are so hard to live with \\u2013 but a sour old person is one of the crowning works of the devil. Give me the ability to see good things in unexpected places, and talents in unexpected people. And, give me, O Lord, the grace to tell them so.

AMEN

Self-Awareness is about O.R.A. Observe - Remember - Act

I\\u2019m intrigued by this prayer for a number of reasons. First off, there\\u2019s a bit of humor and edginess to it. I like to think God has a sense of humor, and that he appreciates a little edginess from time to time.

The prayer also intrigues me because it\\u2019s an example of the ORA Principle of Deepening our Relationships we\\u2019ve been talking about in recent episodes. Observe - Remember - Act. I\\u2019ll have links to a few of these as well in the show notes.

Observe

Our 17th-century nun doesn\\u2019t have a name, but for our purposes, let\\u2019s see, I\\u2019ll call her Sister Olivia. A perfectly good nun\\u2019s name from the 1600s.

Sister Olivia is self-aware and observes some things within herself she doesn\\u2019t like, and she asks God to remove these things from her life. Her prayer is one of reduction, \\u201ctake these things from me\\u201d is her plea to God. For example,

Keep me from the fatal habit of thinking I must say something on every subject and on every occasion. Release me from craving to straighten out everybody\\u2019s affairs. Make me thoughtful but not moody; helpful but not bossy\\u2026.

Keep my mind free from the recital of endless details; \\u2026 seal my lips on my aches and pains\\u2026

Her prayer is a great example of self-awareness, which is such an important part of relational intelligence.

Remember

Sister Olivia remembers her flaws, and for the most part, does not get defensive about them. She owns them and recalls how these idiosyncrasies have gotten in the way of her relationships.

She also remembers that to rid herself of these flaws will take supernatural power from God. She can\\u2019t do it on her own. It\'s a big part of self-awareness.

Act

Given what she observes in herself, and what she remembers about her weaknesses, Sister Olivia takes action. She prays to God to help her be the person He created her to be. She knows she can\\u2019t do this on her own, so she takes action by calling upon God to help her.

So what\\u2019s the point of all this for YOU?

It would be easy to dismiss this \\u201cprayer\\u201d as something cute and funny. That would be a mistake in my view. The \\u201cprayer\\u201d a good example of the power of self-awareness in helping us relate better with each other. And with our self.

It\\u2019s Romans 12: 3 all over again, \\u201c\\u2026 Don\\u2019t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us.\\u201d

Wouldn\\u2019t you like to be friends with someone like this nun who is so self-aware? Wouldn\\u2019t you like her to be your neighbor? I know I would.

Imagine what our relationships would be like if all of us prayed as she did? Your flaws and my flaws may well be different than hers. But what if we each of us asked the Holy Spirit to reveal our weaknesses to us, and to show how they are keeping our relationships from being all they could be? And then ask God for the wisdom and power to more like the men and women he created us to be.

The prayer one more time

Lord, Thou knowest better than I know myself, that I am growing older and will someday be old. Keep me from the fatal habit of thinking I must say something on every subject and on every occasion. Release me from craving to straighten out everybody\\u2019s affairs. Make me thoughtful but not moody; helpful but not bossy. With my vast store of wisdom, it seems a pity not to use it all, but Thou knowest Lord that I want a few friends at the end.

Keep my mind free from the recital of endless details; give me wings to get to the point. Seal my lips on my aches and pains. They are increasing, and love of rehearsing them is becoming sweeter as the years go by. I dare not ask for grace enough to enjoy the tales of others\\u2019 pains, but help me to endure them with patience.

I dare not ask for improved memory, but for a growing humility and a lessening cocksureness when my memory seems to clash with the memories of others. Teach me the glorious lesson that occasionally I may be mistaken.

Keep me reasonably sweet; I do not want to be a Saint \\u2013 some of them are so hard to live with \\u2013 but a sour old person is one of the crowning works of the devil. Give me the ability to see good things in unexpected places, and talents in unexpected people. And, give me, O Lord, the grace to tell them so.

AMEN

Best Line:

Give me the ability to see good things in unexpected places, and talents in unexpected people. And, give me, O Lord, the grace to tell them so.

Here\\u2019s the main point I hope you remember from today\\u2019s episode

The more self-aware we are, the greater the possibility for significant meaningful relationships.

I\\u2019d love to hear any thoughts you have about today\\u2019s episode. Just send them to me in an email to john [at] caringforothers [dot] org. Or you can share your thoughts in the \\u201cLeave a Reply\\u201d box at the bottom of the show notes.

Closing

In closing, if you found this podcast helpful feel free to forward this episode to others you think might be interested in today\\u2019s content.

I hope your thinking was stimulated by today\\u2019s show, to both reflect and to act. So that by becoming more and more self-aware you will find the joy God intends for you through your relationships. Because after all, You Were Made for This.

Well, that\\u2019s all for today. I look forward to being with you again next week. Goodbye for now.

Related episodes you may want to listen to

088: Get them to Say \\u201cThank You for Asking\\u201d

089: How to Be a Better Observer of People

Related blog post

August 19, 2020, \\u201cHow to Age Well\\u201d

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