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Asking questions gives us power over our circumstances. It allows us to move from being a victim to becoming an agent of change for our self.

Hello everyone and welcome to episode 97. Today we consider the good things that can come our way when we overcome our natural hesitancy to ask questions.

We\\u2019ve been talking in recent episodes about the A component of the ORA principle of deepening relationships. Observe - Remember - Ask.

Specifically, Ask in the context of interpersonal relationships, and Ask in the context of self-awareness, to Ask ourselves questions as to why we do the things we do.

But Ask is also a powerful tool in other relationships. It\\u2019s very useful in our jobs. In our parenting. And in dealing with providers of goods and services.

Keep listening to learn how.

Asking questions of those who provide of good and services

Story of buying that burgundy blazer for our daughter Jennifer when she was about 10 years old.

• No size on the rack fit her
• I asked if I could check out the size of the blazer hanging display on their display
• \\u201cYou can\\u2019t do that\\u201d and the discussion that followed
• I\\u2019ll put another one up in its place
• No, then I\\u2019d have to ask my manager
• Well, could you go ahead and do that?

The day we bought a sofa. Delivery was not included. I asked the question if they would make an exception. \\u201cWell, I\\u2019d have to ask my boss\\u201d Please do so.

Applied English class I taught. Student projects asking companies for redress of grievances. Case of coke, new leather jacket, street plowed.

Teaching our children to ask questions

Story of our son asking his history teacher for extra credit to get an \\u201cA.\\u201d Promised a plane ticket to Baltimore to see his girlfriend. Offered the same deal to Eleanor, his daughter who had the same problem decades later: a plane ticket to Baltimore.

Asking questions is a great skill to teach your kids. Ask the hard questions, it will help you get what you want.

As a parent, if and when someone wants to marry your adult child, don\\u2019t hesitate to ask that potential son or daughter-in-law questions. Episode 027 is about the time I met with my future son-in-law when he asked for my blessing to marry our daughter. His one question of me prompted 17 questions for him. I share these questions in episode 027, When He Asks to Marry Your Daughter.

Asking questions in our jobs

I was starting to get bored at my teaching job, so I asked to create a new course on creativity. School board approved. Gave me time to do research on the subject. Taught it to 8th and 9th graders. It was a subject that interested me and I thought kids could really benefit from it. It eased my boredom.

As a recruiter, I would ask an employer, \\u201cwhy did you decline a job offer to my candidate?\\u201d Can learn things for the time next around. How you can change, or maybe it had nothing to do with you. They may have put the job on hold, the other candidate was far more qualified.

Even when the answer to our Ask is \\u201cno,\\u201d we can learn from it and grow

The benefits of asking questions

1. It\\u2019s an opportunity to see God at work when your ask is based on praying ahead of time. It draws you closer to God.
2. Gives you a voice. A sense of control. You cease being a victim
3. Increases your chance of getting what you want after the initial \\u201cno\\u201d
4. Learn from getting a \\u201cno\\u201d, which will help get you a \\u201cyes\\u201d next time
5. Gave me confidence in our daughter\\u2019s choice of a future husband. It deepened my relationship with him and our daughter. It will do the same for you if you\\u2019re ever in that situation

So what does all this mean for YOU?

How can you use what you\\u2019ve heard in this episode to improve the quality of YOUR relationships? Here are a few ideas:

Ask Jesus to show you what questions to ask. Questions to ask in a kind, gentle, non-threatening manner. Questions that get to the truth of a matter.

If you are bored in your job, ask for a new one. Ask if you could design a new job within your company.

When someone says \\u201cno\\u201d to your ask, what can you learn from the \\u201cno\\u201d? If for no other reason, it may boost your self-confidence to know there were circumstances out of your control that prevented your ask from being granted.

Ask for an exception to a policy. Especially ask \\u201cI\\u2019d like you to send me a copy of the document containing the policy\\u2026\\u201d

The main point I hope you remember from today\\u2019s episode

Asking questions, in the context we\\u2019ve been discussing, gives us power over our circumstances. It allows us to move from being a victim to becoming an agent of the change we desire for our life.

I hope you noticed that in this episode I have not repeated that old adage, \\u201cIt never hurts to ask.\\u201d That\\u2019s because I\\u2019ve come to learn over many decades that it just isn\\u2019t true. I used to be the poster child for it never hurts to ask. But not anymore.

There are indeed times when it hurts to ask. I\\u2019ll be exploring the it never hurts to ask myth in next week\\u2019s episode, no. 098. Just two shows away from our first ever triple-digit-episode, number 100.

I\\u2019d love to hear any thoughts you have about today\\u2019s episode. Just send them to me in an email to john@caringforothers.org. I may share them in a future episode unless you say otherwise. You can also share your thoughts in the \\u201cLeave a Reply\\u201d box at the bottom of the show notes.

Closing

In closing, if you found the podcast helpful, please subscribe and I\\u2019d appreciate it if you would leave us a review wherever you get your podcasts. It will help us to serve more people just like you.

I hope your thinking was stimulated by today\\u2019s show, to both reflect and to act. So that you will find the joy God intends for you through your relationships. Because after all, You Were Made for This.

Well, that\\u2019s all for today. See you next week. Goodbye for now.

You Were Made for This is sponsored by Caring for Others, a missionary care ministry. We depend upon the generosity of donors to pay our bills.\\xa0 If you\'d like to support what we do with a secure tax-deductible donation, please click here. We\'d be so grateful if you did.

Related resources that may interest you

Blog post from July 29, 2020, Ask Someone What They Are Feeling

The following past episodes:

088 - Get Them to Say, "Thank You for Asking"
027 When He Asks to Marry Your Daughter
064 - Start With This Question to Ask
065 - End With This Important Question