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The reason why we need to 'be nice to ourselves' is because we are beating ourselves up with these sticks called "I should" this or "I should" that.  I give you my 2 lists of shoulds. The first list i made was the shoulds that i have already let go of and the second list is the shoulds that i'm still working on. 
Letting go of ALL our shoulds is the ultimate goal because they are not necessary and not serving up to getting the life we want.   They pretend to be necessary but they are not. 
I invite you to make your own lists and challenge them.  Should you actually be doing those things. When you believe them how do you feel and what do you do? Do you actually do what you should be doing. And if you say yes then i bet 100$ that you are doing that because you are thinking something more useful than 'i should'. - you may think 'i should' and then you think 'i'm going to do this'. And that second sentence is what actually gets you to do what you want to do. NOT the 'should'.