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b'Forgiveness is a monumental practice because it really guides a lot of what you believe in your life -about the world, love, relationships and also yourself. I\\u2019ve said this before but truly the reason to forgive is for you: because it\\u2019s kind of like being stabbed and then keeping that knife in your body. Forgiveness is something only you can decide you are ready to do, but it\\u2019s also something only appropriate in certain situations. It comes from a pure and genuine goal created for the right reasons, with all the practical information at hand. For example, you might want to forgive your ex for breaking your heart, but you can\\u2019t force that until you are ready to accept and move on. Another example of a situation that might be best left for processing but not forgiveness \\u2013 is chronic abuse. This is a situation when we are likely to blame ourselves \\u2013 so it\\u2019s really vital to lean into anger and claim that blame. When it comes to other deep wounds, when we prematurely choose to forgive it\\u2019s often because some part of us wants to skip over the pain of confrontation \\u2013 looking at how bad we really hurt. When we want to forgive because the emotions associated with a certain event bring us BELOW the level of who we know we are, that is a mature and profound decision \\u2013 one made from your highest self. This is something we all get to choose: basically, to align ourselves with who we know we are. \\n\\nWhat I want to do with this episode is really pose that invitation in a way that might get you closer to the reality of processing or forgiving \\u2013 or knowing where you need to place a hurt from your past. \\n\\nReferences:\\n\\nTriumph of Heart\\nhttp://amzn.to/2pt308G\\n\\nThe science of forgiveness\\nhttp://www.salon.com/2015/08/24/the_science_of_forgiveness_when_you_dont_forgive_you_release_all_the_chemicals_of_the_stress_response/\\n\\nHaven\\u2019t read this myself but this is by the guy who heads up the Stanford Forgiveness Project which does a lot of good research. \\nhttp://amzn.to/2qZy5Tt\\nLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices'