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b'Love shouldn\\u2019t hurt. It shouldn\\u2019t feel like it\\u2019s your lifeline \\u2013 that you will fall into a million pieces if someone else chooses to break up. This kind of chemical bond is similar to that we universally associate with High School romance: hormones are high and we reach sometimes addiction-level chemical intoxication. But that\\u2019s not how it should feel when you pass the hormonal bump. Like such an intensely devastating and all-consuming obsession. Past the initial courtship stage, love shouldn\\u2019t be tied to NEED and it shouldn\\u2019t be able to command your mood and focus. So if you experience it this way, and it causes you to do things that betray yourself and put your needs aside those of another. If you find yourself all-consumed by the actions or thoughts of another to the degree that it controls your happiness \\u2013 this is an episode for you. It\\u2019s about the particular reasons that this kind of attachment happens to you, that you might not be able to see are operating \\u2013 or know are optional. To you it probably just feels like \\u201cyou\\u201d and who you are, not some other powerful unseen force. Because most people who operate like this think of it as a measure of how MUCH they love, or their ability as a person to bend and adapt. Not so. This is an unhealthy form of attachment that can be tweaked once understood. This is an episode to educate more than anything because awareness is the first step to change. So listen to this with the goal of simply taking it in. I WANT TO HELP YOU begin the process of the kind of loving that can be done from a safe and balanced distance. From a comfortable place inside yourself, that protects you always. It\\u2019s a way of being that allows you to create healthy boundaries, and choose mates who are capable of loving you, and more importantly \\u2013 makes you capable of receiving it. Because truly we teach others how they should love us, by how we love ourselves. If you are not protecting your needs and giving yourself care and gentle loving attention, then you\\u2019re also telling others not to. With that, here are the three parts! Part 1 is the what, Part 2 is the why, Part 3 are some steps to take now. Help Me Be Me takes hundreds of hours to create. If you get anything out of this show or it brings value to your life, please consider a monthly donation \\u2013 even something as small as a cup of coffee helps immensely. To donate visit HelpMeBeMe.com Thanks!\\nLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices'