BROADCASTS.com

b'

David and Rhonda are joined in today\\u2019s podcast by Dr. Taylor Chesney, a former student of David\\u2019s who is now the head of the Feeling Good Institute of New York City. She is a prominent TEAM-CBT therapist and trainer, and specializes in the treatment of children and teenagers.

Taylor kindly agreed to do some live work today on her panic and despair because of the impact of the pandemic on her family. Her situation is especially challenging and poignant because her husband, Gregg, is a highly esteemed Emergency Room / Intensive Care physician in New York, and he is constantly working to save the lives of Covid-19 victims. Ten days ago he moved to a separate apartment several blocks away so he will not put his wife and children in harm\\u2019s way in case he contracts the Covid-19 virus.

But will he, himself, be struck down by this vicious virus? He told Taylor that he recently had to intubate several of his colleagues, which is horrifying. Taylor fears that\\xa0 she may lose her beloved husband, and that her three children may have to grow up without a father. She also feels overwhelmed because she\\u2019s supporting many people now.

David begins with a brief overview of the cognitive model, including several key points:

1. All negative feelings result from thoughts, and not from what\\u2019s actually happening. So even in a crisis that is as real and devastating as the Covid-19 pandemic, all of our emotions will still result from the way we think about it. Remember the teachings of Epictetus 2,000 years ago, when he wrote: \\u201cPeople are disturbed, not by things, but by the views we take of them.\\u201d

This is potentially empowering, because we usually cannot change the fact\\u2014the pandemic is real and we are powerless to make it disappear\\u2014but we may be able to change our perceptions (eg thoughts, or \\u201ccognitions\\u201d) about what\\u2019s happening.

There\\u2019s a healthy and an unhealthy version of every kind of negative feeling. For example, healthy fear is not the same as unhealthy anxiety; healthy sadness and grief are not the same as clinical depression; healthy remorse is not the same as neurotic guilt. And so forth. Our goal is not teaching you how to be happy all the time no matter what\\u2014that would be absurd\\u2014but simply to reduce or eliminate unhealthy negative feelings.

2. Healthy negative feelings result from valid negative thoughts, and do not have to be \\u201ctreated.\\u201d Unhealthy negative feelings, in contrast, result from negative thoughts that are distorted and illogical. David reminds us that even in a crisis, depression and anxiety are still the world\\u2019s oldest cons, and that you CAN change the way you feel.

But is this possible? It just doesn\\u2019t sound right! Can Taylor really change the way she thinks and feels when the crisis is so overwhelming and so real? And can you?

As the session unfolds, Taylor tearfully describes her intense fears for her husband, who she loves so greatly, as well as their three young children. She says that 75% of the time, she\\u2019s \\u201cokay,\\u201d when she\\u2019s awake and involved with caring for her kids, but 25% of the time\\u2014especially late at night when she\\u2019s alone with the kids\\u2014things get pretty desperate, and sobs for 30 minutes or more while experiencing \\u201csheer terror.\\u201d

What\\u2019s making the situation more painful is that Gregg is temporarily living six blocks away in order to protect his family in the event he does contract the potentially deadly virus. Taylor says that \\u201cit feels like we\\u2019re kicking him out. He\\u2019s at war. He\\u2019s fighting, struggling, suffering.\\u201d She says he\\u2019s passionate about his work, but she wishes he\\u2019d quit!

Take a look at Taylor\'s\\xa0 Daily Mood Log\\xa0at the start of the session. As you can see, she is focusing on how she is feeling every night before going to sleep. She circled seven different categories of negative feelings, and all are intense, including the depression, anxiety and frustration clusters (all are 100%), the lonely and hopeless categories (both 90%), as well as feeling \\u201cbad\\u201d (50%.)

You can also see the negative thoughts she recorded. She is telling herself that:

You can also see that her belief in these thoughts varied from 50% to 100%.

After empathizing for 30 minutes, Rhonda and David asked about her goals for the session, which would be to turn down the intensity of her negative feelings. Together, Rhonda, Taylor and David do Positive Reframing, asking two questions about each negative thought and feeling:

1. What does this negative thought or feeling show about Taylor that\\u2019s positive and awesome?
2. What are some benefits, or advantages, of this negative thought or feeling?

Together, they generate an impressive list of Positives. Then Taylor decides she can use the Magic Dial and reduce her negative feelings, while not eliminating them completely, as you can see at this link.

Then they use a variety of techniques to challenge each negative thought, staring with #4, \\u201cI shouldn\\u2019t share my feelings.\\u201d Taylor identifies many distortions in this thought, including Should Statement, Emotional Reasoning, Mind-Reading, Self-Blame, and Mental Filter.

Taylor decides to think about it like this instead:

\\u201cIt\\u2019s okay to share my feelings. It could bring us closer together. It\\u2019s human to be struggling, given the circumstances. My feelings matter to Gregg.\\u201d

She believes this Positive Thought 100%, and her belief in the Negative Thought fell to 5%, which was enough, since there was a little truth in the thought. You might have to be thoughtful about the timing of self-disclosure.

Rhonda and David continue to challenge the rest of Taylor\\u2019s Negative Thoughts, using a variety of techniques such as the Externalization of Voices, Acceptance Paradox, Paradoxical Double Standard Technique, and more. The most challenging Negative Thought was #7\\u2014her fear that Gregg might die.

At the end of the session Taylor recorded a substantial reduction in her negative feelings.

Thanks for tuning in, and please let us know what you thought about today\\u2019s program!

Rhonda, Taylor, and David