355: Relationship Problems - Be Gone! Featuring Dr. Matthew May

Published: July 31, 2023, 8 a.m.

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355: Relationship Problems: Be Gone!

Featuring Dr. Matthew May

In today\\u2019s podcast, Matt, Rhonda and David discuss relationship problems, and how to overcome them. We also give instructions on the Paradoxical Invitation, one of the most important and difficult techniques for TEAM-CBT therapists to learn.

We started today\\u2019s podcast interviewing Tania Ahern and Andy Persson who give a plug for the upcoming TEAM-CBT intensive from August 14 to 17, 2023 in Bristol, and incredible British city with an outstanding TEAM-CBT training program in store for you. Many notable TEAM experts will be presenting, including Drs. Leigh Harrington, Heather Clague, Marius Wirga, Stirling Moorey, Mike Christensen and many other notable teachers.\\xa0 Special thanks to Peter Spurrier for being a fantastic TEAM therapist and organizer!

I will also be there virtually doing a keynote address, a Q and A session, and a live TEAM-CBT demo with a workshop volunteer. The amazing Mike Christensen will be my co-therapist. Hope to see you there! Go to TEAMCBT.UK for registration and more information.

Today we focus on relationship problems, starting with a real example, which often makes for the best teaching. Rhonda recently spent time with her son and daughter-in-law to help with their new twin babies. Rhonda\\u2019s daughter-in-law had a very difficult delivery, and was in the hospital for several weeks following the birth of the babies. Rhonda worked relentlessly cooking and cleaning for them, feeding the babies, changing their diapers, and comforting them, and providing help for the new mom, who was overwhelmed and fearful of bathing the babies, thinking she might hurt them when attempting to bathe them.

As so often happens in real life, Rhonda ran into a severe conflict with her daughter-in-law and responded with anger, and we all so often do. She reveals how terrible she and her daughter-in-law felt, and how she saved the day after deciding to have a \\u201credo\\u201d of the interaction, using the Five Secrets of Effective Communication.

Rhonda, Matt and David described one of the most difficult therapy tools in TEAM-CBT, the Paradoxical Invitation Step, and contrasted it with the Straightforward Invitation.

Rhonda also mentioned some podcasts for further information on the Relationship Journal and the Interpersonal Model in TEAM-CBT. There are even more, but here are some that might interest you. My book, Feeling Good Together, is also a must-read for anyone wanting to make profound changes in the way you connect with the people you love, as well as your patients if you\\u2019re a shrink!

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Podcast Title

Min

054

Interpersonal Model (Part 1) \\u2014 \\u201cAnd It\\u2019s All Your Fault!\\u201d Healing Troubled Relationships

54

055

Interpersonal Model (Part 2) \\u2014 \\u201cAnd It\\u2019s All Your Fault!\\u201d Three Basic Assumptions

27

056

Interpersonal Model (Part 3) \\u2014 \\u201cAnd It\\u2019s All Your Fault!\\u201d Interpersonal Decision-Making and Blame Cost-Benefit Analysis

46

057

Interpersonal Model (Part 4) \\u2014 \\u201cAnd It\\u2019s All Your Fault!\\u201d The Relationship Journal

44

226

The \\u201cGreat Death\\u201d in a Corporate / Institutional Setting

56

227

Echoes of Enlightenment

43

\\xa0

We finished today\\u2019s podcast with some entertaining role-playing exercises, using the Five Secrets of Effective Communication in interactions with extremely difficult individuals. This gave me the chance to role-play some incredibly obnoxious and practically impossible to please. My favorite role!

Enjoy!

Warmly,

Rhonda, Matt, and David

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