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#253: Sadness as Celebration, Part 2

In today\\u2019s podcast, Rhonda and David present Part 2 of their work with a young woman named Rose who has been struggling with profound feelings of grief since learning of a discouraging update on her father\\u2019s struggles with multiple forms of cancer.

A = Assessment of Resistance

At the end of the moving and tearful empathy phase, Rhonda asked Rose if she felt ready to do some work, or needed more time to talk and share her thoughts and feelings.

She said she was ready to do some work, and described her goals for the session:

I know I cannot change the facts, and I would not want to eliminate the grieving, but I would like to dial down the intensity of some of my emotions, particularly when I\\u2019m triggered.

Next, we did some Positive Reframing to highlight what was positive about Rose\\u2019s feelings. You can click here review the list of positives that we generated.

Rose\\u2019s Positive Reframing Table*

Now you can review Rose\\u2019s Emotions table at the end of Positive Reframing, showing her goals for each emotion when we used the Magic Dial. The idea is to dial each feeling down to a lower level that would reduce your suffering, while still allowing you to preserve all the awesome things about you!

As you can see, she wanted to dial all of her feelings down to low levels, with the exception of her sadness, which was an expression of her love for her dad.

M = Methods

We used Explain the Distortions, the Double Standard Technique, and the Externalization of Voices, including the CAT (Counter-Attack Technique).

Here\\u2019s how Rose challenged Negative Thought #1.

David discussed healthy vs unhealthy grief, and shared some stories of love and loss. He also talked about the concept of sadness as celebration. In this case, a celebration of Rose\\u2019s love for her Dad. The impending loss, of course, is tragic, but the wonderful father daughter relationship is beautiful and perhaps somewhat scarce, as so many people have not had such a beautiful relationship with their parents.

At the end, Rose said the session was \\u201cincredible and special\\u201d You can take a look at her end of session scores on the Daily Mood Log (link).

After the session, Rose sent the following email:

Hello David and Rhonda,

Thank you so much for that amazing session today. I am feeling so much more contentment and gratitude after talking with you both. I even feel lighter and more hopeful.

The key insight for me was realizing how special and precious this relationship is that I have, and rather than focusing on what I won\'t have. It sounds like a clich\\xe9, but it is true for me and seems to have freed up a weight.

I will definitely do my homework, and will can send you the completed DML after listening to the session as that may help. And as for sharing with my dad, I\'m going to be calling him to tell him what a wonderful session I had and that when it is published he can listen to it so as to have and share this beautiful experience.

Thank you so much once again!

Rose Markotic

Thank you for listening today!

Rhonda, Rose, and David