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Published: Dec. 6, 2023, 9 a.m.

In the 1947 classic Christmas film It\u2019s a Wonderful Life!, George Bailey, played by Jimmy Stewart, goes through a tough time during Christmas in dealing with two serious financial problems caused by someone else. This most beloved and joyful man in all of Bedford Falls is overcome with depression, anger, hopelessness, and despair. In the midst of all this, George\u2019s wife, Mary, steps in and shows us how to help the people we love when they are in a dark place, especially at Christmas\xa0 It\u2019s what today\u2019s episode is all about.

But before we get into today\u2019s episode, here\u2019s what this podcast is all about.\xa0

\xa0Welcome to You Were Made for This

If you find yourself wanting more from your relationships, you\u2019ve come to the right place. Here you\u2019ll discover practical principles you can use to experience the life-giving relationships you were made for.

I\u2019m your host, John Certalic, award-winning author and relationship coach, here to help you find more joy in the relationships God designed for you.

To access all past and future episodes, go to the bottom of this page to the yellow "Subscribe" button, then enter your name and email address in the fields above it. The episodes are organized chronologically and are also searchable by topics, categories, and keywords.

Christmas is all about relationships

Of all the times of the year to find joy in our relationships, can there be a better time than Christmas?\xa0 Christmas only exists because Jesus wants a relationship with us, and he came to earth to make that really clear to us.

There\u2019s certainly joy in this relationship, and also in our relationships with friends and family. But sometimes things get in the way of experiencing the kind of relationship God designed for us with the people we love.\xa0

We see this so vividly in what I think is the greatest Christmas movie ever made, It\u2019s a Wonderful Life!\xa0 The film is overflowing with many different kinds of relationship struggles. But in the end, it leaves you feeling good about being alive in community with other people. \xa0

I like this movie so much that I did an entire podcast on seven relationship lessons we learn from It\u2019s a Wonderful Life!\xa0 It\u2019s episode 045 and I\u2019ll have a link to it at the bottom of today\u2019s show notes.

It\u2019s a Wonderful Life! in a nutshell

If it\u2019s been a while since you saw the film, or if you\u2019ve never seen It\u2019s a Wonderful Life!, here\u2019s a brief summary of the plot:

The main character, George Bailey, played by Jimmy Stewart, grew up in a small town by the name of Bedford Falls prior to WWII. From the time he was\xa0young, George was a very popular, engaging person, well-liked by everyone.\xa0

Small-town life was not for him, however. He talked often about his dream of traveling to far-away places where he would work as an engineer to build big things, like skyscrapers and bridges. \xa0

George grew up in a loving family where his father and uncle ran the Bailey Brothers Building & Loan, a business in competition with the bank in town owned by the antagonist in the movie, Henry Potter. \u201cOld man Potter\u201d as he was called. At one point George\u2019s father, Peter Bailey, died suddenly and George took over the Building & Loan.

The plan was that once George\u2019s brother Harry graduated from college, he would take over the Building & Loan, so George could leave Bedford Falls to pursue an education and his dreams.

But things didn\u2019t turn out as planned. Harry returns from college, not just with a diploma, but also with a wife and a job out of town with his father-in-law.\xa0 All this leaves George with the responsibility of running the Building & Loan, causing him to feel all the more trapped, which is a major theme of the movie.

Money set aside for a honeymoon

George ends up getting married to a woman named Mary. On their wedding day and on their way out of town for their honeymoon, there\u2019s a run on the bank. This was not unusual during the Depression of the 1930s, which is when the movie takes place.\xa0 Everyone wanted to withdraw their savings in cash, but there\u2019s not enough money to pay out the withdrawals.\xa0 Mary sees what\u2019s going on and turns over to George all the wedding money and savings she and George have saved for their honeymoon. George then uses it to pay out the cash withdrawals.

This is the first example we see from Mary of how to help the people we love when they are going through a rough time. How many women do you know would sacrifice their once-in-a-lifetime romantic vacation to help her husband solve a problem at work?\xa0 Not many.\xa0

Most women would say something along the lines of, \u201cThis is our wedding day and we\u2019re leaving for our honeymoon. Let your co-workers deal with the problem. They\u2019ll understand. Aren\u2019t I more important than your job, your business?

But that\u2019s not Mary. She sacrifices her desires and her resources to help the person she loves. Sometimes to help the people we love we have to set aside our dreams. And sometimes to help the people we love will cost us financially.

Investing in relationships

This run on the bank that George and Mary are dealing with is an interesting metaphor for relationships. Just as deposits we make with our money into financial institutions, we also make \u201cdeposits\u201d in our relationships. George Bailey had certainly done that with the relationships he developed and fostered in Bedford Falls. The movie shows how he invested in people, and the things he did to help people who needed help. Watch for it the next time you see the movie. I\u2019ll comment more on this in a few minutes.

But I wonder about you and me. To what extent are we investing in relationships, where we pour ourselves into being there for other people?\xa0 Will we have enough in our relationship account that there will be something to withdraw when we need help?

Another problem at work

After the problem with the run on the bank is solved. Another work-related problem arises like the whack-a-mole game you play at the fair. On Christmas Eve Uncle Billy misplaces $8,000 worth of deposits right as a bank examiner shows up for an audit. In today\u2019s dollars adjusted for inflation, this would amount to about $110,000. \xa0

If the money isn\u2019t found, it will mean bankruptcy, scandal, and jail time for George. He\u2019s beside himself with fear, and it brings out the worst in him. The rest of the film shows how George goes about dealing with this problem, and how others deal with George. If ever there was a movie about relationships, this would be it.

For example, at one point in the film George tries to help Uncle Billy remember where he left the money. But he gets impatient, roughs up Uncle Billy, and calls him \u201ca silly old fool.\u201d \xa0

George then comes home in his irritated, fearful state and yells at his kids. He makes one of them cry, in fact. At which point Mary steps in to protect her children. She positions herself in front of the kids and confronts George very sternly with \u201cGeorge, why must you torture the children? Why don\u2019t you\u2026\u201d

A change in behavior

Before this scene, Mary observed this marked change in behavior in her husband and asked him \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong?\u201d\xa0 George doesn\u2019t answer, in part because I think he\u2019s trying to protect his wife from work problems, and in part because he\u2019s confused by his own anger and rage.

Mary is puzzled by George because it\u2019s not like him to be so angry. But she doesn\u2019t give up on George when he doesn\u2019t answer her \u201cwhat\u2019s wrong?\u201d question.\xa0 She reflects in her mind what might be the problem. George didn\u2019t go to work that morning angry at the world, so it\u2019s logical to consider that maybe something happened at work to set him off. George isn\u2019t any help in figuring out the problem, so Mary logically and wisely calls someone who works with George to see if he might know.\xa0 It\u2019s one thing you can do to help someone you love.

She picks up the phone and asks the operator to call Bedford 247. And guess who answers?\xa0 Uncle Billy.

Now we don\u2019t hear what Mary says to Uncle Billy. But by the end of the movie we find out.

George gets help for dealing with his problem

After George walks out the door after yelling at his kids we see him encounter Clarence Oddbody AS2 (Angel 2nd class). He\u2019s sent by God to help George put his problem in perspective and to realize the impact he\u2019s had on people. It\u2019s interesting that God doesn\u2019t send Clarence the angel to solve George\u2019s problem, but rather that despite his problems it truly is a wonderful life that George has been living. \xa0

God still works like that today. Often not solving our problems, but always putting them in perspective in light of eternity and God\u2019s purposes for our life.

Bold action to help the people we love

\xa0Getting back to Mary and her phone call to Uncle Billy. After George\u2019s encounter with Clarence Oddbody, Angel second class, he returns home a new man. Oh so grateful to be alive and even at peace with the potential consequences of the misplaced $8,000 of deposits.

It\u2019s here we see what Mary and Uncle Billy talked about in their phone call. She now tells George, \u201cIt\u2019s a miracle, George! It\u2019s a miracle!\u201d Then Uncle Billy walks through their front door with a large wicker laundry basket, sets it on a folding table, and tells George one of the key lines in the movie in an excited tone.

\u201cMary did it, George! Mary did it! She scoured all over town telling people you were in trouble\u2026\u201d With that, crowds of people come pouring through the front door with cash to put in the basket.

What a bold action on Mary\u2019s part. Sometimes to help the people we love we have to step out of our comfort zone and ask other people to help us care for the one we love. Sometimes we have to make withdrawals from our relational bank account. It\u2019s just how it works.

What we\u2019ve learned from Mary in It\u2019s a Wonderful Life!

Mary shows us that we can help the people we love who are going through difficult times by first observing any change in behavior. What\u2019s different about them now, and when did the change happen? Often knowing when will give us further clues to help those we love.

We also learn from Mary how it\u2019s important to reflect upon what might be causing the distress in the people we love. Be direct and ask them. They may not know themselves, but don\u2019t give up. Probe further.\xa0

Take action as Mary did. Ask other people who may be in a position to know what the root of the problem is in the angst our loved one is experiencing. Call someone. Don\u2019t text.

\xa0And then when you finally understand the heart of the problem. Take more action. Evaluate what you can do to help, and what you need from other people.

Finally, we learn from Mary that helping the people we love going through a really bad season is done behind the scenes. I love behind-the-scenes-people. They have no hidden agenda and they want to bring out the best in people. It\u2019s never about them

So what does all this mean for YOU?\xa0

How can you use what you\u2019ve heard today to help you find more joy in the relationships in your life?\xa0 Make it a goal to be a better observer of the important people in your life. Notice any changes in behavior. Then reflect upon what might possibly be causing those changes. Finally, take action. Do something that tries to help.

And like Mary in the movie, do all this behind the scenes. Be a behind-the-scenes person.\xa0 It\u2019s pretty fulfilling helping the people we love this way.

Closing

In closing, I\u2019d love to hear any thoughts you have about today\u2019s episode. I hope your thinking was stimulated by today\u2019s show, to consider how you can help the people you love this Christmas - behind the scenes.

For when you do, it will help you experience the joy of relationships God desires for you. Because after all, You Were Made for This.

Well, that\u2019s it for today. As we close up shop, please don\u2019t forget to spread a little relational sunshine around the people you meet this week. Spark some joy for them, kind of like Mary did and all the people of Bedford Falls. And I\u2019ll see you again next time. Goodbye for now.

Other episodes or resources related to today\u2019s shows

045: Seven Relationship Lessons from the Greatest Christmas Movie Ever Made

021: The Most Important Relationship of All

A prior and most recent episode

206: Thankful for the Stories of Others

All past and future episodes\xa0 \xa0 JohnCertalic.com

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