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Published: Nov. 15, 2023, 9 a.m.

The Thanksgiving holiday will soon be upon us here in the US, so I\u2019ve been reflecting on what I\u2019m thankful for. And this year I\u2019m thinking about things that goes beyond my family and good health. In considering this, I\u2019ve come to realize that I\u2019m especially thankful for the stories of others.\xa0

That\u2019s because I\u2019ve found that the stories of what other people have experienced often lift me out of myself. Listening to what others have been through, both good and bad, and how those experiences shaped them into the person they are today, have a way of neutralizing the difficulties and concerns I\u2019m experiencing.

I\u2019ve got a story for you today that illustrates this principle. A story that happened to me. I hope as you listen to it you too will be encouraged to listen to the stories of others and experience the benefits in doing so.\xa0

But before we get into today\u2019s episode, here\u2019s what this podcast is all about.

\xa0Welcome to You Were Made for This

If you find yourself wanting more from your relationships, you\u2019ve come to the right place. Here you\u2019ll discover practical principles you can use to experience the life-giving relationships you were made for.

I\u2019m your host, John Certalic, award-winning author and relationship coach, here to help you find more joy in the relationships God designed for you.

To access all past and future episodes, go to the bottom of this page to the yellow "Subscribe" button, then enter your name and email address in the fields above it. The episodes are organized chronologically and are also searchable by topics, categories, and keywords.

Thankful for this story that didn\u2019t start well

My story starts on a late Friday afternoon at the end of the work week. I was still active full-time in my business, but this particular weekend Janet and I were headed to a missionary care conference in Gull Lake, Michigan.\xa0

When I got home from the office that day I hurriedly loaded up the car with our luggage, anxious to get on the road for the 4\xbd hour drive to the conference. Getting there required driving through Chicago during rush hour. Lots of bumper-to-bumper and stop-and-go traffic through the city\u2019s congested highways. It was nerve-wracking.

We finally reached the conference grounds late at night, registered, and got our room key. As I began unloading the car with the clothes we packed I realized I had left half of them at home.\xa0

Oh great, I thought. We\u2019re going to have to wear the same clothes for the entire weekend.\xa0 Couple that with the late hour, and the nerve-wracking drive through Chicago, my irritability score was off the charts.\xa0

It didn\u2019t get any better the next morning as I didn\u2019t get much sleep that night. Lack of sleep. The long drive through Chicago traffic. No change of clothes all contributed to my over-the-moon crabbiness.

A not-so-thankful-start to the day

The first scheduled event for Saturday morning was breakfast in the dining hall of the conference center. Janet and I grabbed a tray and made it through the line with our breakfast selections and then looked for a place to sit.

I was still feeling so irritable that I didn\u2019t was to sit with anyone else attending the conference. It wouldn\u2019t be fair to them to sit with someone as crabby as I was that morning. So we spotted a few empty tables in the far reaches of the room and headed there to spend a quiet breakfast away from anyone.

It wasn\u2019t long though, before I spotted an older man slowly heading toward us with his tray of food. \u201cOh no. Please no,\u201d I thought. He\u2019s going to sit with us and we\u2019re going to have to eat breakfast together. And we\u2019re going to have to talk with him. Yikes!\xa0

There was no getting around it. There was no place to hide. We were stuck.

Thankful for an unusual breakfast companion

The elderly man sat down with his tray across the table from me. We exchanged pleasantries, commented on the weather, and then he asked us where we were from. I told him and then following his lead I asked,

\u201cHow about you? Where are you from?\u201d

\u201cI came here from Detroit,\u201d but I was a pastor in Canada for many years. I\u2019m retired now,\u201d he replied.

Hmm, I thought. His answer surprised me a bit because in our brief conversation so far I detected an accent in his speech. He sounded European and not like any Canadian I had ever known. We made more small talk and then I asked him,

\u201cYou seem to have an accent, European I\u2019m guessing. Were you born there?\u201d

\u201cOh, yes,\u201d he said. I was born in Holland and lived there until I was 19 before I moved to Canada,\u201d he replied.

Hmm, I thought again. I\u2019m guessing our new breakfast companion was probably in his early 80s, which turned on my mental calculator and prompted me to ask another question based on his age and my knowledge of history. \xa0

Thankful that one question often leads to another

\u201cWere you by any chance living in Holland during World War II? I asked.

His eyes lit up, and with a smile, he responded with a simple but spirited, \u201cYes!\u201d

I continued with, \u201cAnd were you still living there when Germany invaded and took over your country?\u201d

\u201cI was,\u201d he said.

By this time in our conversation I suddenly realized I\u2019m talking with someone who was an eyewitness to one of the most significant and awful events of the 20th century. I didn\u2019t see it in myself at the time, but my mood took a drastic turn for the better. My irritability escaped from my being like a mouse who flees when he sees a cat in the room.\xa0 It happened that quickly.

\u201cWhat was that like for you, to be living during the occupation?\u201d

\u201cThe Nazi soldiers were everywhere, patrolling the streets with their rifles slung over their shoulders. It was a very scary and difficult time for all of us.\u201d

\u201cWhy did you leave Holland when you were 19?\u201d I asked after he finished talking about his wartime experience.\u201d

Thankful for the humor found in the stories of others

\u201cOh that\u2019s a funny story,\u201d he said, again with a smile on his face.

\u201cThe Dutch government was concerned about over-population and that the country couldn\u2019t handle the increase in population growth they anticipated. So they offered anyone who would move away a sum of money that was equivalent to about $5,000. After the war in 1945-46, that was a large amount of money. So being 19-years-old and looking for adventure, I grabbed the money and moved to Canada.

\u201cAs it turned out, the population of Holland grew much larger anyway and there hasn\u2019t been any problem with the country keeping up with that growth.\u201d

\u201cWhy did you move to Canada,\u201d I asked. \u201cWhy not the U.S.?\u201d

\u201cOh, that was an easy decision,\u201d our elderly Dutchman replied. \u201cWhen the Allied forces liberated us after the war in 1945, the Canadian soldiers were much friendlier than the Americans. So that\u2019s why I moved to Canada.\u201d

We all got a good laugh over this part of his story.

With that, we finished breakfast and moved to the first session of the conference. I was now completely rejuvenated and thankful for the story of this Dutchman. I don\u2019t recall seeing him again the rest of the weekend, but this relational moment we had together over breakfast has stayed with me for many years since. It makes me smile whenever I think of him.

Thankful for what we learn from the stories of others

My interaction with this World War II-era Dutchman taught me a number of things:

• All problems are temporary. Even leaving half your clothes at home for a weekend trip
• Our moods are temporary, too. A good conversation can be a mood-altering experience
• Asking a simple question to start a conversation is quite powerful
• Asking a follow-up question is even more powerful. It\u2019s the engine that keeps the conversation train rolling down the tracks
• Being curious about other people has been a source of joy in my life. It\u2019s the basis for being a good listener, and a means to deepen relationships.\xa0
• I\u2019m so thankful I majored in history in college and that I still enjoy it. Having a background in history has enriched my life.

So what does all this mean for YOU?\xa0

The next time you\u2019re in a bad mood, use your curiosity muscles to listen to someone share one of their life experiences. By drawing them out with follow-up questions it will help lift you out of yourself. It\u2019s amazing how that works. Give it a try.

Closing

In closing, I\u2019d also love to hear any thoughts you have about today\u2019s episode. I hope your thinking was stimulated by today\u2019s show, to be curious about other people and to be thankful for their stories.

For when you do, it will help you experience the joy of relationships God desires for you. Because after all, You Were Made for This.

Well, that\u2019s it for today.\xa0

Now don\u2019t forget to spread a little relational sunshine around the people you meet this week. Spark some joy for them.\xa0 And I\u2019ll connect with you again next time. Goodbye for now.

Other episodes or resources related to today\u2019s shows

139: Why Should I Listen to This Podcast?

021: The Most Important Relationship of All

185: Thankful for Curious People

063: Six Reasons Why We\u2019re Not More Curious About People

165: Nosey People Weaken Relationships; Curious People Strengthen Them

The prior and most recent episode \xa0

205: How to Have a Meaningful Conversation

All past and future episodes\xa0 \xa0 JohnCertalic.com

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