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Published: April 28, 2021, 8 a.m.

Hello everyone and welcome to episode 102.\xa0 Today we're considering how to find joy in our relationships.

We call our podcast, as you know, You Were Made for This. I\u2019ve talked before what the \u201cthis\u201d is. It\u2019s the joy found in Godly relationships. We are made for relationships filled with joy. What I\u2019ve tried to do in each episode is to show we can either create joy in our relationships or how we can find the joy that\u2019s already there.

Today\u2019s episode is about the latter. Finding joy that\u2019s already present.

I\u2019m going to share examples of joy I found in what listeners have commented upon in recent episodes, along with a bit of joy I received from a simple email from a friend. It will hopefully give you ideas of how to find the joy that\u2019s already there in your relationships, just waiting for you to find it.

Never say \u201cnever\u201d

I\u2019ll start with Donna, a listener from the state of New York, who wrote to answer a question I asked a few episodes ago, namely, \u201cWhat else are you doing when you listen to this podcast?\u201d

Donna wrote, \u201cNormally I\u2019m either spinning or weaving. I need something to concentrate on while engaging in both of those activities. Your podcast is perfect for that.\u201d

She then when on to comment on episode 98, The Myth of \u201cIt Never Hurts to Ask. Donna writes, \u201cBy the way, I like the idea of it \u2018usually\u2019 doesn\u2019t hurt to ask, rather than \u201cit NEVER hurts to ask.\u201d

She\u2019s right! \u201cUsually\u201d is a far better term to use than \u201cnever.\u201d Never is a pretty strong word. Little kids, when they complain to their parents will often say, \u201cYou NEVER let me do such and such\u2026\u201d

I found joy in Donna\u2019s comment because she added an important perspective to what I said in that episode. I wish I would have thought of saying it the way she said it, It usually doesn\u2019t hurt to ask.

In fact, my goal has now become to never say never in a sentence. Or I should say, \u201cusually to not say never.\u201d To tone it down a notch, to leave myself an out.

Dodging a relational bullet

Another listener by the name of Patty had this to say about The Myth of it Never Hurts to Ask. \u201cGood morning John, I appreciated today's podcast!\xa0 I've been considering asking a family member a question that is of a sensitive nature. Per your advice, I will check my motive & consider the effect it may have on our close relationship.

Asking family members sensitive questions can certainly be a land mine. It gave me a measure of joy to know something I said may have helped Patty dodge a bullet on this one, if I can mix metaphors here. Land mines. bullets. Family members. Maybe they all go together after all.

Her comment reminded me of how I need to do the same thing: question my motives about all kinds of things I do or say. This will certainly help me navigate through all kinds of relational land mines.

Patty ended with a P.S.: \u201cI look forward to Wednesday mornings when I listen to you before getting out of bed to start the day.\u201d I found joy in knowing listening to the podcast doesn\u2019t put her back to sleep.

Something to think about

Well, moving on, Connie, wrote in to say \u201cI save each of your podcasts for a beautiful day to walk around Fowler Lake. \xa0You keep me company and always offer something to think about. Thank you.\u201d

What a great way to listen to a podcast, walking around a lake on a beautiful day. How peaceful it sounds. I find joy in just picturing Connie doing this, and also that she found something in the podcast worth thinking about.

It also encouraged me to think more about relationships with friends. We can make them deeper and more life-giving when every now and then we sprinkle in something in our conversation that makes people think.

What makes me think is when someone offers an opinion about something different from mine, based on a perspective I had not considered that makes sense. I really like it when someone tries to change my mind about something.

A beautiful way to live

Then we have Laura, a missionary, who also emailed her reaction to episode 98, The Myth of it Never Hurts to Ask. \u201cThanks for this John! I especially liked how you said to put yourself in a position that what you want is offered to you - then you know it\u2019s from God.\xa0That\u2019s a beautiful way to live!!!\u201d

What a beautiful phrase, That\u2019s a beautiful way to live.

And she\u2019s right, it is a beautiful way to live. I found joy in knowing that what I said resonated with her. I\u2019ve been learning the joy of being content with preparing for God to open doors, rather than me opening those doors myself.

I\u2019m more inclined to ring the doorbell, and knock on the front door if there\u2019s no answer, then go to the back door and do the same thing, and if there\u2019s still no answer, make a phone call to the person in the house, and if there\u2019s no answer, send a text or an email, and if that doesn\u2019t work, ask the next-door neighbor what\u2019s up with these people, \u201chave you seen them anywhere? Are they out of town?\u201d And it goes on and on. Trying to open closed doors.

So much better to just focus on Godly character and wait politely at the front door. If God doesn\u2019t open that door it\u2019s because he has another door in mind, or he just wants me to enjoy all the many other doors he has already opened in my lifetime. I found joy in Laura\u2019s That\u2019s a beautiful way to live comment

It\u2019s amazing what you can get for $1.20

I found another bit of surprising joy with something simple Janet and I did.

A missionary friend of ours recently lost a family member in a tragic accident. Rather than emailing her, we mailed a card expressing our condolences across the Atlantic to her home in France. It cost $1.20 in postage.

Our missionary friend later sent this brief email to us: \u201cJust a quick note to say thank you for the lovely card and condolences:\xa0 It's so rare to get overseas mail anymore, and your words from across the ocean really touched my heart.\xa0 Thanks for thinking of me\u2026."

What a great return on an investment of $1.20 to \u201creally touch someone\u2019s heart.\u201d I was surprised how this simple act brought me joy in knowing that you can touch someone\u2019s heart for $1.20?

To me, this is priceless to know I can make a difference in someone\u2019s life with something so very simple. You can do this, too. We all can. You may recall how in episode 87 this past January, Make it a Relational New Year\u2019s Resolution, I commented on how sometimes using older technologies - like postal mail, can have a greater impact than newer technologies - like email.

So what does all this mean for YOU?

How can you use what you\u2019ve heard today to improve the relationships in YOUR life? Here are a few ideas:

I wonder where God might show YOU joy in the unexpected places in YOUR relationships.

This takes getting out of ourselves for a bit and considering how others view life in ways that are different from our own.

Another idea is from time to time to sprinkle our conversations with something worth thinking about that goes beyond the mundane daily events of life. Talk about something substantive that causes someone to pause and reflect. There\u2019s joy in doing that.

You can also look for joy in simple things. Simple things that touch your heart, like an international postage stamp for $1.20, which in turn has the potential to touch the heart of another.

Lastly, you might want to check out episodes 5 and 6 from several years ago, The Gift of Joy - Parts 1 and 2. I\u2019ll have links to them at the bottom of the show notes.

If you forget everything else, here\u2019s the one thing I hope you remember from today\u2019s episode

One way to find joy in our relationships is to reflect upon what people have said to us, especially when it\u2019s something we haven\u2019t considered before. Their perspective on life can broaden our own.

I\u2019d love to hear any thoughts you have about today\u2019s episode. Just send them to me in an email to john@caringforothers.org. I may share them in a future episode unless you say otherwise. You can also share your thoughts in the \u201cLeave a Reply\u201d box at the bottom of the show notes.

Closing

I hope your thinking was stimulated by today\u2019s show, to both reflect and to act. So that you will find the joy God intends for you through your relationships. Because after all, You Were Made for This.

Well, that\u2019s all for today. I look forward to connecting with you again next week. Goodbye for now.

You Were Made for This is sponsored by Caring for Others, a missionary care ministry. We depend upon the generosity of donors to pay our bills.\xa0 If you'd like to support what we do with a secure tax-deductible donation, please click here. We'd be so grateful if you did.

Related episodes you may want to listen to

098: The Myth of \u201cIt Never Hurts to Ask\u201d

087: Make it a Relational New Year\u2019s Resolution

005: The Gift of Joy - Part 1

006: The Gift of Joy - Part 2