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Published: Aug. 27, 2023, 7:01 p.m.

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This episode has serious Adult Content 

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Episode 75: The Sexual Miseducation of Religious Adolescents

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Spurred by Dr. Shloimie Zimmerman\\u2019s recent book titled

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\\u201cFrom Boys to Men,\\u201d Rabbi Kivelevitz chairs this panel

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discussion with Pro. Juni and Rabbi Shmuel Skaist who is a

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noted educator, mentor, and psychotherapist specializing in

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sexual addictions. Dr. Zimmerman\\u2019s underlying premise, which

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the panelists fully endorse, is that adolescents will persist in

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some sexual behaviors (especially masturbation) regardless of

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any educational efforts. R. Kivelevitz applauds the book as a

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valiant effort to deal with the \\u201cguilt spirals\\u201d which youngsters

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experience around masturbation, especially as the book could

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potentially result in a backlash from the organized religious

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educational establishment. Prof. Juni notes that such reactions

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have been commonplace toward researchers who broached

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sexual taboos even in academia (e.g., the Kinsey Reports).

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Juni\\u2019s main critique of the book highlights its narrowness of

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focus. His specific points are: 1) Masturbation should not be

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stressed to the exclusion of other challenges of adolescent

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sexuality (e.g., pornography); 2) The book should not be

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limited to boys while excluding girls; 3) The issue of

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homosexuality cannot be ignored; 4) The book should not have

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been addressed to parents / educators; rather it would best be

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addressed to adolescents; 5) Since the intent is to minimize

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tension and maladjustment of adolescents, the main focus

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should be on sexual development issues rather than Halachic

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challenges. Expanding on the latter point, Juni notes the

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emotional difficulties around sexual development among

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religious youth does NOT revolve around the violation of

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religious percepts. Rather, they are driven by erroneous

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assumptions by the young person that s/he is different from

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his/her peers and that there is something wrong with her/him

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\\u2013 which is often verbalized as \\u201cI must be crazy.\\u201d These issues

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are identical to those of irreligious youth. Thus, claims Juni, all

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that is needed here is a very precise message which stresses

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statistical normality rather than Halachic percepts. That

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message \\u2013 The behaviors you engage in related to sexual

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curiosity -- including masturbation, sexual exploration with

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others, and porn watching -- are behaviors which ALL of your

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peers (including your religious peers) engage in very

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frequently. That message would dispel the erroneous

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assumptions which drive the guilt spiral and emotional

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pathology among youngsters, even when they are taught that

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these behaviors violate Halacha.

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R. Skaist argues forcefully that what is needed to deal with the

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decompensatory results of miseducation is a concerted effort

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to teach what is normal, rather than being limited to teaching

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what behaviors are not desirable. Adolescents need to know

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that sexuality should be part of a general emotionally positive

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relationship with another individual which includes much more

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than physical interaction. R. Skaist also deplores the

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differential tracks in sex education of boys vs. girls, which then

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potentially portends relationship problem in marital couples.

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Juni amplifies this position by noting that members of each

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gender often end up with a negative perception of their

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spouses as they conflate their negative views of sexuality with

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their partners.

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R. Kivelevitz explores the Halachic stance toward masturbation

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with Dr. Juni and R. Skaist. Apparently, some authorities view

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the ban on masturbation as applying solely to cases where it is

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used as a method of birth prevention by a married couple.

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Knowing that some authorities are not categorically opposed

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to masturbation may suffice to minimize the overwhelming

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guilt which some religious adolescents experience.

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R. Kivelevitz raises the issue of pornography viewing. R. Skaist

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dispels some erroneous ideas of how explicit sexual material

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might be used in psychotherapy. He argues that the real

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danger of pornography is that it leaves viewers with false ideas

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and unrealistic perceptions of what sexuality entails, with the

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chief deficit being that it eschews the crucial interpersonal

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component in an emotional relationship. Taking this a step

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further, Prof. Juni argues that the accurate depiction of

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sexuality does NOT constitute pornography unless it enhances

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sexual depersonalization, one-sidedness, or abuse.

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Since both of the panel\\u2019s experts agree that misinformation is

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behind sexual maladjustment which occurs during

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adolescence, R. Kivelevitz raises the argument used by some

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that co-education minimizes distortions about the other

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gender and enhances cross-gender relationship capacity at this

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crucial developmental stage. While the panelists agreed that

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youngsters raised in co-ed environments have a better sense

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of the other gender at an earlier age, these youngsters are still

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described as subject to the vagaries of misinformation. As R.

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Skaist puts it, \\u201cthey still have problems, although the problems

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may be different ones.\\u201d

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R. Kivelevitz concludes from Dr. Zimmerman\\u2019s approach that it

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would make sense for Yeshivos to offer greater variety in

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activities, sports, and leisure to distract youngsters from sexual

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preoccupation. While agreeing that such a variety would be

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beneficial to all, the panelists argue that \\u201cdistractions\\u201d from

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sexuality are not psychologically effective or feasible, and

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certainly would not address the problem at hand. Rather,

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proper education \\u2013 especially one that counters

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misconceptions and harmful notions \\u2013 is the key to proper

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adjustment.

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Prof. Juni is one of the foremost research psychologists in the world today. He has published ground-breaking original research in seventy different peer reviewed journals and is cited continuously with respect by colleagues and experts in the field who have built on his theories and observations.

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He studied in Yeshivas Chaim Berlin under Rav Yitzchak Hutner, and in Yeshiva University as a Talmid of Rav Joseph Dov Soloveitchik. Dr. Juni is a board member of the Association of Orthodox Jewish Scientists and has regularly presented addresses to captivated audiences. Associated with NYU since 1979, Juni has served as Director of PhD programs, all the while heading teams engaged in cutting-edge research. Professor Juni's scholarship on aberrant behavior across the cultural, ethnic, and religious spectrum is founded on psychometric methodology and based on a psychodynamic psychopathology perspective. He is arguably the preeminent expert in Differential Diagnostics, with each of his myriad studies entailing parallel efforts in theory construction and empirical data collection from normative and clinical populations.

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Professor Juni created and directed the NYU Graduate Program in Tel Aviv titled Cross-Cultural Group Dynamics in Stressful Environments. Based in Yerushalayim, he collaborates with Israeli academic and mental health specialists in the study of dissonant factors and tensions in the Arab-Israeli conflict and those within the Orthodox Jewish community, while exploring personality challenges of second-generation Holocaust survivors.

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Below is a partial list of the professional journals where Professor Juni has published 120 theoretical articles and his research findings (many are available online):

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Journal of Forensic Psychology; Journal of Aggression, Maltreatment, and Trauma; International Review of Victimology; The Journal of Nervous and Mental Disease; International Forum of Psychoanalysis; Journal of Personality Assessment; Journal of Abnormal Psychology; Journal of Psychoanalytic Anthropology; Psychophysiology; Psychology and Human Development; Journal of Sex Research; Journal of Psychology and Judaism; Contemporary Family Therapy; American Journal on Addictions; Journal of Criminal Psychology; Mental Health, Religion, and Culture.

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As Rosh Beis Medrash, Rabbi Avraham Kivelevitz serves as Rav and Posek for the morning minyan at IDT. Hundreds of listeners around the globe look forward to his weekly Shiurim in Tshuvos and Poskim and Gaonic Literature.

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Rav Kivelevitz is a Maggid Shiur for Dirshu International in Talmud and Halacha as well as a Dayan with the Beth Din of America.  

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