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Day 183 – Should Have, Would Have, Could Have

Published: March 9, 2016, 4 p.m.

Everyone lives with "shoulds." One might say that Christianity and other faiths are a way of life built on shoulds, such as one should love others, one should keep themselves from bad practices, and one should give to charity. For many, their shoulds are experienced as positive and fulfilling. Meeting one's moral obligations is a great source of pleasure. When we do the right thing, we feel good about ourselves and feel that life has meaning and purpose.

But there are others who do not experience shoulds in a positive way. They feel pressured and strangled by them. For such people, their inner shoulds are sources of great emotional suffering. Dr. Karen Horney named this experience, the "tyranny of the should."