Day 1492 – My Job Resume – Humor Unplugged

Published: Oct. 8, 2020, 7 a.m.

Welcome to Day 1492 of our Wisdom-Trek, and thank you for joining me.This is Guthrie Chamberlain, Your Guide to WisdomMy Job Resume – Humor UnpluggedWisdom - the final frontier to true knowledge. Welcome to Wisdom-Trek! Where our mission is to create a legacy of wisdom, to seek out discernment and insights, to boldly grow where few have chosen to grow before. Hello, my friend, I am Guthrie Chamberlain, your Captain on our journey to increase Wisdom and Create a Living Legacy. Thank you for joining us today as we explore wisdom on our 2nd millennium of podcasts. This is Day 1492 of our Trek, and time for a 3-minute mini-trek called Humor Unplugged. Our Thursday podcast will provide a short and clean funny story to help you lighten up and live a rich and satisfying life. Something to cheer you and give a bit a levity in your life. We are told in  (https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+17:22&version=NLT) A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength. Consider this your vitamin supplement of cheer for today. So let’s jump right in with today’s funny which is titled:
My Job Resume
Little Joey was over at his favorite Uncle Louey’s apartment visiting for an afternoon, and they were chatting as they often did. Now, Uncle Louey wasn’t noted for being able to hold down a job very long, and he always had some story to tell. That is probably why little Joey liked visiting him so often. As Joey and Louey were chatting about adventures and going fishing, Joey looked at him and said, “my mama says you can never keep a job. Uncle Loey, why is that?” Uncle Louey agreed and stared off into the air for a bit and then said, “well, let me explain the reasons.”
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned... couldn’t concentrate.
Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the ax.
After that, I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn’t suited for it...mainly because it was a so-so job.
Next, I tried working in a muffler factory, but that was too exhausting.
I tried to be a barber, but I just couldn’t cut it.
Then I tried to be a chef -- figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn’t have the thyme.
I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn’t cut the mustard.
My best job was being a musician, but eventually, I found I wasn’t noteworthy.
I studied for a long time to become a doctor, but I didn’t have any patience.
Next was a job in a shoe factory - I tried, but I just didn’t fit in.
I became a professional fisherman but discovered that I couldn’t live on my net income.
I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.
I got a job at a zoo feeding giraffes, but I was fired because I wasn’t up to it.
So then I got a job in a workout center, but they said I wasn’t fit for the job.
After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.
My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.
So, then I retired...and found out I was perfect for the job!
I hope that brought a smile to your face today. If it did pass your smile onto some else, we all could use a kind smile each day. Our Thursday thought is, “Success seems to be connected to action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they never quit.”
Here is our verse for today:
(https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs%2013%3A11&version=NLT)
Wealth from get-rich-quick schemes quickly disappears; wealth from hard work grows over time.
Just as you enjoy these nuggets of humor, please encourage your friends and family to join us and then come along tomorrow for another day of ‘Wisdom-Trek, Creating a Legacy.’ If...