Day 1282 – Twas The Night Before Christmas (for Moms) – Humor Unplugged

Published: Dec. 19, 2019, 8:03 a.m.

Wisdom-Trek / Creating a Legacy
Welcome to Day 1282 of our Wisdom-Trek, and thank you for joining me.
This is Guthrie Chamberlain, Your Guide to Wisdom
Twas The Night Before Christmas (for Moms) – Humor Unplugged


Wisdom - the final frontier to true knowledge.  Welcome to Wisdom-Trek! Where our mission is to create a legacy of wisdom, to seek out discernment and insights, to boldly grow where few have chosen to grow before. Hello, my friend, I am Guthrie Chamberlain, your captain on our journey to increase Wisdom and Create a Living Legacy.  Thank you for joining us today as we explore wisdom on our 2nd millennium of podcasts. This is Day 1282 of our Trek, and time for a 3-minute mini-trek called Humor Unplugged.  Our Thursday podcast will provide a short and clean funny story to help you lighten up and live a rich and satisfying life.  Something to cheer you and provide a bit a levity in your life.  We are told in  Proverbs 15:30  A cheerful look brings joy to the heart; good news makes for good health.  We are also encouraged in Proverbs 17:22  A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength.  Consider this your vitamin supplement of cheer for today.  So let’s jump right in with today’s funny which is titled:
Twas The Night Before Christmas (for Moms)
Twas the night before Christmas
When all thru the abode
Only one creature was stirring
And she was cleaning the commode.

The children were finally sleeping
All snug in their beds,
While visions of Nintendo and Barbie
flipped through their heads.

The dad was snoring in front of the TV
with a half-constructed bicycle on his knee.
So only the mom heard the reindeer hooves clatter
Which made her sigh, "Now, what's the matter?"

With toilet bowl brush
Still clutched in her hand
She descended the stairs and saw the old man.
He was covered with ashes and soot, which fell with a shrug.
"Oh great," muttered the mom, "Now I have to clean the rug."

"Ho-ho-ho!" cried Santa, "I'm glad you're awake."
"Your gift was especially difficult to make."
"Thanks, Santa, but all I want is some time alone."
"Exactly!" he chuckled, "I've made you a clone."

"A clone?" she asked, "What good is that?
Run along, Santa, I've no time for chit-chat."

The mother's twin,
Same hair, same eyes,
Same double chin.
"She'll cook, she'll dust," she'll mop every mess.
You'll relax, take it easy,
Watch The Young & the Restless."

"Fantastic!" the mom cheered.
"My dream come true! "
I'll shop. I'll read.
I'll sleep a whole night through!"

From the room above the youngest began to fret.
"Mommy?! I scared... and I wet."
The clone replied, "I'm coming, sweetheart."
"Hey," the mom smiled, "She knows her part."

The clone changed the small one and hummed a tune
As she bundled the child in a blanket cocoon.
"You're the best mommy ever. I really love you."
The clone smiled and sighed, "I love you, too."

The mom frowned and said, "Sorry, Santa, no deal."
That's my child's love she's trying to steal."
Smiling wisely Santa said, "To me it is clear.
Only one loving mother is needed here."

The mom kissed her child and tucked her into bed.
"Thank you, Santa," for clearing my head.
I sometimes forget it won't be very long
when they'll be too old for my cradle-song."

The clock on the mantle began to chime.
Santa whispered to the clone,
"It works every time."
With the clone by his side, Santa said, "Goodnight
Merry Christmas, dear Mom. You'll be just fine!"