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Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ\\u2026 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. \\u201cHonor your father and mother\\u201d\\u2014which is the first commandment with a promise\\u2014 \\u201cso that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.\\u201d Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord (Ephesians 5:21, 6:1-4).

Did you know children play "catch" with their parents all day long? Children spend their lives catching how parents live, catching how they talk, catching their ways of responding, and catching their walk with God - or lack thereof. Faith is contagious. So is apathy. Since parents set the patterns, I will reflect mostly on parenting here.

According to historical sources, a Roman father had absolute power over his family. He could sell them as slaves, make them work his fields in chains, punish as he liked, he could even inflict the death penalty on his child. Children were a nuisance; unwanted babies were abandoned, the deformed and sick were killed; children were ignored or used for parental purposes.

In contrast, Jesus said, \\u2018Let the little children come to me\\u2019 and \\u2018to such belongs the kingdom of God.\\u2019 We notice that Paul follows Jesus rather than the culture of the Roman Empire. The Christian family, like the church, is lived under this rubric, \\u2018submit to each other out of reverence for Christ\\u2019. In the marriage relationship, Paul calls us to a better way. Here too.

But we are far removed from Roman culture. The world has many cultures, and each has its own patterns of family life. Paul is not giving us a manual on the parent child relationship that is transcultural, nor a textbook for successful Christian parenting. Parenting will look different in each culture. We are not instructed to abandon our cultural patterns. Rather, we are to engage with them out of \\u201creverence for Christ\\u201d while learning \\u201cmutual submission.\\u201d

If I may say it, we are not used to this. Ours is an aggressively competitive culture, in which we measure ourselves against one another: educational credentials, athletic competition, salary, popularity, fashion, appearance, or performance. Competition is bred into us. We evaluate the people around us as winners and losers. We want to win, in family life too.

The family is the setting in which competition does the most damage. Whether it is between family members or against another family, competition undermines intimacy and hinders Christian maturity. Our goal is not to win, but to grow up in Christ by being \\u201csubject to one another,\\u201d even in the family. But it doesn\\u2019t come easy. It is an art form, best learned in the family setting.

Submission means that we set aside our own agendas for the sake of the other. Parents need to wrestle away the goals and dreams they have for their children. \\u201cDo not exasperate them.\\u201d Even in parenting, we follow the way of Christ. The measuring stick for maturity for the Christian is the \\u201cmeasure of the full stature of Christ.\\u201d We pay attention to the ways that Jesus forgave, loved, touched lepers, received outsiders, prayed for his friends.

Partnered with mutual submission is reverence for Christ. This is an attitude or disposition that acknowledges God\\u2019s presence, recognizing that he is more and better than we are. It begins at the burning bush, as we remove our sandals. It permeates our relations as we recognize and reverence Christ in every person we meet, even our parents and children. Fear of the Lord opens our spirits, our souls, to become what we are not yet, growing up into Christ.

We play catch with our children all day long. What balls do we throw their way? If our children do not see us practicing submission, why should they obey us? If they do not see the \\u2018fear of the Lord\\u2019 in us, where will they see it? There is no manual for success here. Yet, the fear of the Lord includes a deep trust in God\\u2019s baptismal promises. No matter what happens in life, he remains our faithful God. We entrust our parents and our children to him.

Let this blessing encourage both parent and child:

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. (Ephesians 3:17-21).