Lament for My Hard Heart

Published: May 10, 2022, 6 a.m.

Lord, do not rebuke me in your anger or discipline me in your wrath. Have mercy on me, Lord, for I am faint; heal me, Lord, for my bones are in agony. My soul is in anguish. How long, O Lord, how long? (Psalm 6:1-3).

Yesterday, Pastor Anthony used Psalm 5 to remind us of the basic elements of Lament: taking God seriously, taking evil seriously and submitting ourselves to God. Prayers of lament articulate the pain of life in this broken world, while also accepting that only God can be trusted to deal with evil.

Today, in Psalm 6, we find these elements explored further. This is a penitential psalm, a prayer of confession and repentance. The psalmist is living under a great weight, feeling wretched, miserable, at wit's end. This misery is caused by God's anger. There is only one cause for God's anger: human sin.

Let's remember that God is not peevish, nor does he get miffed when he doesn't get his way. Having created the cosmos good and flourishing with life, God becomes angry when he sees his creation getting wrecked. We must think not just of the physical creation around us; but also, of the strain we put on human relationships because of our selfishness and anger. We beat each other up with our silence and with our words. Further, injustice systems that keep certain people impoverished arouse God’s anger.

Many people do not like the idea of an angry God. We want a nice God. But the God of the Bible doesn't come across as nice. To quote C.S. Lewis, "He is dangerous, but good." In Romans 1, Paul gives us context to God’s anger. It is his response toward the hard of heart, the unrepentant, those sinners who turn their backs and deliberately refuse His grace. “The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of people, who suppress the truth by their wickedness” (Romans 1:18).

Paul’s point is that God’s anger is not directed towards us every time we do something bad. It is aroused because we deliberately and willfully move away from him; we harden our hearts towards him. It is not just a mistake; it is not something for which we simply apologize. It is, rather, a choice to deface the image of God in us or in others; to selfishly ruin what God created good.

Lament takes us down the road in which we take our own sin seriously. We cannot simply end our prayers with a quick “and forgive us our sins. Amen” and assume confession is accomplished. Rather, it invites the introspection which ends Psalm 139, “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting” (23-24).

It brings us to the space in which, because of our sin, we recognize that we are under God's judgement: his anger and wrath. We have turned away from God and made a mess of things. His anger has been aroused. We are in trouble.

Thankfully, the psalmist does not leave us with God's anger. Instead, we are pointed towards God's mercy. "Me merciful to me, Lord, for I am faint...Turn, O Lord, and deliver me; save me because of your unfailing love" (2, 4). We need to make such prayers because hardness of heart remains a possibility for all of us.

The only way out from under God's anger is God's mercy. The God of the Bible is not quick to anger, but he is quick with his mercy. God’s anger is in service of God’s love. His anger is not a permanent state but arises from time to time because of human violence against other creatures whom also God loves. Thus, we are encouraged to pray for God's mercy with confidence.

It seems our psalmist has suffered under the fallout of his sins for some time. But now he is turning to God and is confident that God will answer him and deliver him. The wages of sin are death. But the mercy of God is vast and rich and without end. To know this mercy, we must know our sin first.

So don't read this psalm too quickly. Take the time to make it real for you.