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b'(PART 2 of 2) Add pleasure back in to the conversation about healthy sex and the whole conversation changes!\\nThis is the second half of a conversation with Doug Braun-Harvey, co-author of\\xa0Treating Out of Control Sexual Behavior, Rethinking Sex Addiction , where psychotherapists Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott continue to discuss the six principles of sexual health as defined by Doug Braun-Harvey. \\xa0If you missed the first episode\\xa0hear it here: \\xa0Part 1\\nHow do shared values, honesty and pleasure work into having a healthy sexual life?\\xa0How do we think of sex addiction and compulsivity as a disease rather than a common problem? How do people individually have to determine if their sexual behavior is out of control?\\xa0\\n\\xa00:00 \\u2013 Intro & Recap\\xa0\\n1:15 \\u2013 Distinguishing desire discrepancy and sex frequency. Having sex can actually lead to more desire after the fact.\\xa0\\n2:39 \\u2013 Sexual Health Principle: Honesty\\xa0\\n3:03 \\u2013\\xa0There is correlation between anti-masturbation attitudes and lack of knowledge about bodily responses.\\xa0Parenting tip about honesty:\\xa0Respond in a way that shows you\\u2019re grateful that\\xa0you\\u2019re\\xa0child is asking you and glad that they\\u2019re honest with you.\\xa0This will make them a better partner in the future.\\xa0\\n5:38 \\u2013\\xa0Sexual Health Principle:\\xa0Shared Values.\\xa0Shared values = making sure we understand the meaning of sex, even in a case-by-case basis.\\xa0\\n8:45 \\u2013 Sexual\\xa0Health Principle: Pleasure. 2011 definition of sexual health from the US Government removes the word \\u201cpleasure\\u201d.\\xa0\\n12:18\\xa0\\u2013\\xa0\\xa0If\\xa0you don\\u2019t let children know that you know sex is supposed to feel good, you\\u2019ll appear ignorant.\\xa0\\xa0Incorporating the concept of pleasure in dialogue with not only your child, but with partners.\\xa0Remove\\xa0shame from pleasure.\\xa0\\xa0\\n15:43 \\u2013\\xa0Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life\\xa0\\u2013 Emily\\xa0Nagoski\\xa0\\xa0\\n16:30 \\u2013 Sex\\xa0Addiction: Where can pleasure go wrong?\\xa0Sex addiction became a popular conceptualization in the 1980s\\xa0and was coupled with alcoholism and the advent of HIV.\\xa0Idea that we cross a threshold into a way of functioning (addiction)\\xa0and then can\\u2019t go back became commonplace thinking. Dialogue about pain of sex rather than pleasure.\\xa0\\n21:00\\xa0\\u2013\\xa0In the US, certified sex addiction therapists are not certified sex therapists. Sex addiction model is a trauma-focused model.\\xa0Questioning the idea that something physiologically, psychologically has lead us into this disorder state.\\xa0Instead thinking of it as a human problem rather than a disease.\\xa0\\n23:00 \\u2013 Braun-Harvey\\u2019s definition of out of control sexual behavior: When a person\\u2019s sexual urges, thoughts or behaviors feel out of control for them.\\xa0\\n24:30 \\u2013 Often dialogue about\\xa0out of control sexual behavior comes after a period of secrecy. This can\\xa0conflict with shared values.\\xa0\\n26:00 \\u2013 Example of a 20-year marriage in a non-sexual relationship. Husband is masturbating frequently, is discovered, and subsequently treated for sex addiction.\\xa0Instead this is not a behavior to be overly concerned about. It\\u2019s consensual solo sex.\\xa0\\n28:00 \\u2013 Construction of sexual imagery as exploitative can lead to arguments. People individually need to determine when imagery becomes exploitive.\\xa0Interpretation to case: After values conflict surrounding sexual imagery as exploitative or not, they both expressed that they had pleasure from experience and got to know each other better.\\xa0Sharing who you are erotically is a great way to get to know your partner.\\xa0\\n32:50 \\u2013 Violating values. Idea of being compulsive\\xa0or having a disease\\xa0is actually just violating one or more of the principles.\\xa0\\xa0How to find our guest.\\n35:00 \\u2013 Wrap-up.\\xa0Importance of having conversations about sexual health.'