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b'IN THIS EPISODE:\\nGetting What You Want From Therapy: The Essentials Of A Therapeutic Relationship\\nShow Notes\\nDr. Ann Kelley, Sue Marriott & Patty Olwell chat about the importance of building a strong therapeutic relationship with clients. We\\u2019ll discuss how feelings of love, hate, disappointment, excitement and more between a therapist and a patient are not only normal, but even potentially essential to working towards healing. They break-down counter-transference and how mutual influence works to help clients grow.\\nTimeline\\n0:00-0:27 Intro Questions\\n0:27- Possibilities for Therapist-Client relationship (potential for harm from power differential in the relationship OR neural sculpting) \\u2013 When choosing a therapist, be prepared to be changed by this new relationship. Therapists are permanently changed once attached to clients \\u2013 mutual sculpting\\n1:53 \\u2013Old analytic model of psychotherapy \\u2013 therapist as flat, neutral agent. Therapist actually can influence the client. Relationship as we know it now is not unidirectional \\u2013 the most healing agent is the relationship in psychotherapy.\\n2:30 \\u2013 How to pick a therapist \\u2013\\xa0interview several\\n2:54 \\u2013 What to do if you\\u2019re experiencing love, hate, disappointment, excitement, etc. in a relationship with your therapist The General Theory of Love \\u2013 it\\u2019s normal to feel these feelings and\\xa0it also may be essential to the healing agent\\n4:36 \\u2013 Now that you understand these feelings are normal \\u2013 what next? Talk about them\\xa0with your therapist \\u2013 express your\\xa0feelings, then let process begin \\u2013 However this experience may be regressive and if the therapist isn\\u2019t willing to help you may have to move on\\n6:44 \\u2013 How to discern when emotional events are part of the therapeutic process of working through past trauma or when it\\u2019s harmful and retraumatizing\\nHope to have a different outcome than in the past\\xa0\\u2013 We can learn that we have difficult feelings or conflicts but it doesn\\u2019t have to end the relationship.\\xa0It is possible to talk about and process these feelings with your therapist.\\n8:22 Discerning between healthy and unhealthy emotions in relationship Openness & willingness to talk through \\u2013 Discomfort is part of journey towards healing\\n9:20 \\u2013 Difference between feeling uncomfortable and actually being unsafe \\u2013 Nesting Dolls \\u2013 Problem of acting or thinking a certain way only around therapist versus outside the office\\n11:00 \\u2013 Feeling safe, then feeling vulnerable when seeking advice in therapy\\n11:57 \\u2013 Therapists need to follow the clients lead\\xa0when someone comes in seeking career advice or a quick fix for a problem \\u2013 If client isn\\u2019t ready or interested in deep processing we can move as quickly or as slowly as they need.\\n13:05 \\u2013 Therapists want patients to find answer themselves, but often also want to be helpful \\u2013 problem of giving/expecting advice\\n14:37 \\u2013 Counter-transference \\u2013 Therapists feelings get brought up \\u2013 Therapy as an interpersonal dance\\n20:30 \\u2013 Sue\\u2019s anecdote about the pay less price tag \\u2013 compared to being in a family where you can\\u2019t name the embarrassing/traumatizing element in your life\\n22:31 \\u2013 See therapist in a way that allows client to express emotions\\n27:00 \\u2013 Empathy in therapists \\u2013 don\\u2019t want to deny clients the power position in power differential\\n27:51 \\u2013 As a client there\\u2019s a felt need to not have to take care of therapist in terms \\u2013 expectation of a certain level of maturity, experience, intelligence, etc. ; have a bigger, stronger other that allows you to be \\u201cmessy\\u201d\\n28:30 \\u2013 How and why a boundary is important in a therapeutic relationship \\u2013 need to feel safe \\u2013 Frame (time, space, money) \\u2013 Frame will not be broken\\n31:03 \\u2013 Wrap up: All these thoughts & feelings are acceptable \\u2013 Talk about them with therapist and if they can\\u2019t handle it then consider a new one \\u2013 but first tell your therapist you\\u2019re frustrated and you\\u2019re...'