Our Dependence on Control

Published: July 23, 2020, 10:45 a.m.

Hey there! In this week’s episode, after my usual tea talk, life update, and faves, I dive into how we depend so much on control. To begin, I discuss daily situations where we seek power, emphasise that control will not satisfy that deep desire we have, and make an important distinction regarding OCD. Next, I focus on letting go of that desire, and explain that I know this deep down, illustrate my relationship with going with the flow, spontaneity and backup plans. Then, I shift toward how control is an illusion: no matter how hard you work or how much you plan, things can still take an unexpected twist! You must understand that people are unpredictable and accept it. Having covered all of that, I then explain a few ways you can stop worrying about control so much, for instance, avoiding to plan, practicing flexibility, knowing that your life is not a scrapbook, and lowering your expectations. I conclude by reiterating a few important points and sharing motivational encouragement, and, finally, read a review! To get directly to the content, skip to 20:13 FOLLOW THE PODCAST’S INSTAGRAM: https://instagram.com/theasteapodcast?igshid=r04b2760fkdl CONTACT ME THROUGH: theasteapodcast@gmail.com (for business inquiries, sponsorships or to tell me what you think about this podcast!) SEND ME A VOICE MESSAGE: https://anchor.fm/th351a-beaury/message Check out the things I mentioned in this episode (in order of appearance): Listen to Anything Goes by Emma Chamberlain on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/5VzFvh1JlEhBMS6ZHZ8CNO?si=YJO55t1ATzCUP9eUf-vJog Watch Unjaded Jade’s YouTube video about where she’s studying: https://youtu.be/Qhn7NTc8BqA Listen to Declan McKenna on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/2D4FOOOtWycb3Aw9nY5n3c?si=t6eyDTMWQ7CxEBRJdJDfJQ Listen to Daniel, You’re Still a Child by Declan McKenna on YouTube: https://youtu.be/12pLdx2ITws Listen to Beautiful Faces by Declan McKenna on YouTube: https://youtu.be/B0CoBwKNhIo Listen to The Key on Life on Earth by Declan McKenna on YouTube: https://youtu.be/rxdpozZtJkc Listen to Brew by Declan McKenna on YouTube: https://youtu.be/20DJOhHrcas Listen to Why do You Feel so Down by Declan McKenna on YouTube: https://youtu.be/1OHLTyTMvck Check out my episode with my mum where we talk about not expecting anything from anyone (on Spotify): https://open.spotify.com/episode/4aTOfTDZvdevJ9lijO7rKB?si=rNpcRH7cSEG3wkiaMD2x_Q Here are some quotes I liked from this week’s episode: 21:24: “It’s not our job to always craft everything into the way we want to, you know? It’s life! It was designed for us NOT to do that” 22:40: “If you can dominate yourself, then that can mean that whatever the world chooses to throw at you, whatever that is, you’ll be able to react in a positive way” 23:18: “We’re after control for a reason that isn’t sustainable” 25:33: “It’s not my job to fix or control other people or my life” 27:50 “When I saw that life would throw me hurdles when I least expected it, I was very quick in realising that I needed to adapt to that” 28:58: “But sometimes being spontaneous is taking the risk, even when everything is not in control” 29:45 “When I saw that things wouldn’t always work out the way I wanted, I found a different way to control things which I could control” 30:31: “Breathe, and let things come, and think about how you’re gonna’ deal with them when they come” 30:58: “Thinking of all these constant backup plans because I’ve been so scarred by things not working out in the past”31:46: “I fooled myself into thinking that I was letting go, when in reality I was making these super calculated decisions ahead of time” 32:43: “I think it’s a good balance of planning ahead for these unexpected things, but also not feeding off always having everything in control” 32:55: “You can control things to a certain extent, but, from that point onward, you can’t, and that’s okay, you did what you could”Thanks for tuning in, have a beautiful week!