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Published: Feb. 9, 2024, 6 a.m.

I\u2019ve stayed away from the topic of forgiveness here on SelfWork. Why? Because the word itself means very different things to different people \u2013 especially due to your culture or religious belief. But this week, I received an email from a listener that was so poignant AND was about forgiveness, that I\u2019ve decided to talk about it, I've learned that there are emotions that are are important to acknowledge and work through in order to \u201cget\u201d to forgiveness. What are those emotions? Anger. And empathy.

Let me say first\u2026 forgiveness isn\u2019t an emotion. It\u2019s a decision. A decision based on your beliefs, yes. But also based on information and emotional processing. And forgiveness doesn\u2019t mean returning to or trying to be okay with abuse or manipulation.

So today once again, thank you to this listener for allowing us into her life in such a meaningful way. And I invite all of you to do the same \u2013 email me at\xa0 askdrmargaret@drmargaretrutherford.com.

Vital Links:\xa0

Check out the work of Karla McLaren\xa0on anger and forgiveness.

Dr. John Sommers-Flannagan's work on forgiveness

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You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast,\xa0SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford.\xa0Subscribe\xa0to\xa0my website\xa0and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you\u2019d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click\xa0here\xa0and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled\xa0Perfectly Hidden Depression\xa0is available\xa0here!\xa0Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there\u2019s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You\u2019ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you\u2019re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I\u2019ll look forward to hearing from you!

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