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Published: Feb. 3, 2023, 6 a.m.

Seeming coincidences happen to me often, and again this week, something synergistic got my attention. First, I listened to the Invisibilia podcast where they actually featured another NPR podcast, a show called Life Kit. Dr. Amir Levine\xa0was interviewed, who\u2019s an expert on attachment theory \u2013 and he spoke on how your attachment style can help and/or hinder you from being able to achieve emotional intimacy. At the same time, I received a deeply thought-out question in an email from a listener who was trying to figure out how her identification with perfectly hidden depression and a struggle with intimacy were connected. She stated that she had what\u2019s called an \u201canxious avoidant\u201d attachment style\u2026 So that pointed me to the very episode you\u2019re going to hear today as we focus in February on relationships.

We'll cover the four different types of attachment styles, and how they are created in childhood.\xa0\xa0As an adult, they influence what you seek in relationship, what you\u2019re comfortable or secure with and what you\u2019re not. But your style can also change - and that's what we'll focus on... what you can do about it. \xa0You can also click on a link to a questionnaire in your show notes that\u2019s free and you can determine what your own attachment style is currently!

Here's the link to the attachment questionnaire! \xa0Click this link!

The featured email questions for today are also about PHD \u2013 one is how to talk about it with a therapist that you\u2019re beginning to see \u2013 the second, \u201cHow do I know if my work on it is making a difference?\u201d Great questions.

Other Vital Links:\xa0

Mark Manson \xa0on attachment styles

Start\xa0fresh in 2023! BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!

You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast,\xa0SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford.\xa0Subscribe\xa0to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you\u2019d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression, which is coming out in the spring in German, is available\xa0and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And it's available in paperback, eBook or as an audiobook!

And send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You\u2019ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you\u2019re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I\u2019ll look forward to hearing from you!

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