301 SelfWork: What Is Emotional Incest?

Published: Sept. 16, 2022, 5 a.m.

What\u2019s emotional incest? (Please be aware that you could be triggered by this episode if abuse is in your past and I\u2019ll share links to help lines.) It\u2019s not the same as sexual incest \u2013 but can certainly cause its own type of damage. It falls within the dynamic of enmeshment but has its own definition and characteristics. Emotional incest is defined as a parent turning to a child to meet their emotional needs instead of having that relationship with an adult. \xa0We\u2019ll talk about how it happens and how it\u2019s so often missed since it can appear as if all is normal, when it's not at all. And as always, we'll focus on what you can do about it.

The listener voicemail is from someone who used what she called discipline to parent but her kids have some resentment toward her. We\u2019ll talk about what she could do.

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International Sexual Abuse Hotlines

Sean Grover's article in Psychology Today on Emotional Incest

Check out SelfWork \xa0Episode 62\xa0on being overly close to your parent and Episode 224 on steps out of enmeshment

Dr. Pat Love's book\xa0The Emotional Incest Syndrome

Don Miguel Ruiz' book The Four Agreements

You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast,\xa0SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford.\xa0Subscribe\xa0to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you\u2019d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression\xa0is available and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And it\u2019s available in paperback, eBook or as an audiobook!

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