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Published: Aug. 19, 2022, 5 a.m.

A listener left a voicemail for me within the past couple of weeks\u2026 in fact, two. Basically she asked, \u201cI have trouble bonding with people and find myself not expecting too much. I\u2019m in a good relationship now with my partner, but how do I get over this issue? \xa0Can you give tips on how to start trusting myself, others and especially my parents?\u201d\xa0I want to stress that being able to trust is about connection \u2013 about intimacy \u2013 and if you struggle with it, then you\u2019ll not experience true connection, but isolation and fear. The good news is, as Bessel Van Der Kolk says in The Body Keeps The Score, \u201cAs long as you keep secrets and suppress information, you are fundamentally at war with yourself\u2026The critical issue is allowing yourself to know what you know. That takes an enormous amount of courage.\u201d Trigger warning: We\u2019ll be talking about specific examples of abuse.

The voicemail for today is from a listener who had severe withdrawal symptoms from being on an antidepressant for year, and asks about how to avoid withdrawal problems. \xa0Again I\u2019m not a medical doctor but I can convey what I\u2019ve observed clinically.

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So sit back and relax \u2013 get in touch with your breathing and your body (that's another hint...) and let\u2019s learn about how you can begin to trust after abuse.

Vital Links:

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An\xa0article by Darius Cikanavicius\xa0that offered us a great way to organize our discussion and I'd highly recommend it!

I"d also recommend reading Bessel Van Der Kolk's The Body Keeps The Score for wonderful practical and conceptual advice on healing from abuse!

A SelfWork YGTG on pharmacogenomics testing

You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast,\xa0SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford.\xa0Subscribe\xa0to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you\u2019d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression\xa0has been published and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And it\u2019s available in paperback, eBook or as an audiobook!

And there\u2019s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You\u2019ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you\u2019re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I\u2019ll look forward to hearing from you!

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