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Published: Dec. 4, 2020, 6 a.m.

Challenging your assumptions can lead to remarkable change \u2013 and can break emotional paralysis. On SelfWork today, sponsored by BetterHelp, we're going to talk about doing the dishes. Yes you heard me \u2013 dishes. One of my FB closed group members very aptly posted the story you're about to hear as a way of coping with the stress of the pandemic \u2013 to look at your own life through a different lens and see how you could manage your struggles differently \u2013 by challenging your own rules/assumptions. When you do, it can bring huge relief, and a tremendous jumpstart to your hope for change \u2013 and change that lasts. It's called "second-order change" in psychology and it can be very powerful.\xa0

Our listener email today is from a woman who\u2019s writing about being dominated both at home and at work \u2013 I\u2019ll let you listen to her email and see what you think. I was struck by a couple of things \u2013 and hope to offer ideas that will be helpful.

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Episode 191: Stinkin Thinkin

Second order change\xa0Quote and Explanation

Original link to Kate Scott\u2019s piece on Quora

Book entitled Boundaries

You can hear more about mental health and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford.\xa0Subscribe\xa0to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you\u2019d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression\xa0has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism or need for control which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there\u2019s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You\u2019ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you\u2019re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I\u2019ll look forward to hearing from you!

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