BROADCASTS.com

Published: Sept. 25, 2020, 5 a.m.

What is a trauma bond? How does it form? Why is it important for that dynamic to have its own label or name\u201d Trauma bonding happens when trust is highly manipulated; when commitment and trying to make a relationship work is used against someone as a way to keep them in denial or disbelief that a relationship is harmful to them. I\u2019ve been there. I still have never revealed all that happened in that relationship; so much of it is now such clear abuse, I\u2019m flabbergasted I didn\u2019t see it for what it was. But I didn\u2019t. Or I did, but then my need to \u2018make the relationship work\u2019 went to work.

I\u2019ve found some authors who\u2019ve written about it to help shine some light on the why and the how\u2026Patrick Carnes may have been the first and we\u2019ll give his definition of trauma bonding as well as the broader one. It\u2019s also been associated or talked about as \u201cthe same\u201d as Stockholm Syndrome, which we'll discuss.

Our listener email for today is from someone who wants some answers about enmeshment and what she terms \u201ccovert narcissism\u201d \u2013 It sounds like she\u2019s the daughter and feels enmeshed or has been told perhaps she\u2019s enmeshed with him. It\u2019s very much like our topic so I thought it meshed well with the topic.

Important Links:

BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!

John Kim, aka The Angry Therapist provides an article on trauma bonding

A BBC article\xa0on Stockholm syndrome

An \xa0article in VeryWellMind.discusses features of covert narcissism

Wikipedia article on trauma bonds

You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast,\xa0SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford.\xa0Subscribe\xa0to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you\u2019d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression\xa0has been published and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And it's available in paperback, eBook or as an audiobook!

Now there's another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You\u2019ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you\u2019re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I\u2019ll look forward to hearing from you!

\xa0

\xa0

\xa0

\xa0

\xa0

\xa0

\xa0

\xa0

\xa0

\xa0

\xa0

\xa0

\n\nOur Sponsors:\n* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: happymammoth.com\n* Check out Paired: paired.com/SELFWORK \n\nAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands