195 SelfWork: The Suck It Up Episode: Why You Struggle to Feel

Published: Aug. 28, 2020, 5 a.m.

Today's topic was weirdly and almost synergistically created. As I was researching emotional expression, two quite different sources led me to the work of Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett. I'll share her and Dr. Tim Lomas' work with you today, as we discover an entirely new way of thinking about how emotions are created. And maybe just why someone who's learned to "suck it up" struggles to even feel painful emotion at all.

The listener email today was created due to my sticking my foot in my mouth and saying something that was incorrect and potentially hurtful. \xa0A listener. who\u2019s also a therapist and has shared this podcast with several of her clients, was very disappointed in me for something I said in the most recent podcast. And she was absolutely right. So I want to set the record straight. I\u2019ve already apologized to her privately, but I wanted to correct and publicly address my overly hasty words.

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A BBC article: by Dr. Tim Lomas

And a quote from him:\xa0\u201cIn our stream of consciousness \u2013 that wash of different sensations feelings and emotions \u2013 there\u2019s so much to process that a lot passes us by,\u201d Lomas says. \u201cThe feelings we have learned to recognise and label are the ones we notice \u2013 but there\u2019s a lot more that we may not be aware of. And so I think if we are given these new words, they can help us articulate whole areas of experience we\u2019ve only dimly noticed.\u201d

Article by Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett

https://www.wired.co.uk/article/lisa-feldman-barrett-emotions

And a quote from her: \xa0"If you think about it from a brain's standpoint, it's trapped in a dark, silent box called your skull, and has no access to the causes of the sensations it receives. It only has the effects, and it has to figure out what caused them. So how does it do this? There\u2019s one other thing it can use, and that\u2019s past experience. The idea is that your brain is constantly predicting what sensory inputs to expect and what action to take, based on past experience. Then it uses the incoming input to either confirm its prediction, or change it. It works this way for vision, hearing, taste\u2014for every sense. I think the way emotions are made is not special: your brain makes an emotion by using prior experiences of emotion to predict and explain incoming sensory inputs, and guide action."

Link to a Feelings Wheel

You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast,\xa0SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford.\xa0Subscribe\xa0to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you\u2019d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression\xa0has been published and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And it's available in paperback, eBook or as an audiobook!

Now there's another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You\u2019ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you\u2019re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I\u2019ll look forward to hearing from you!

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