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Published: June 26, 2020, 5 a.m.

Getting lost in a relationship. .. if you\u2019ve ever done it, you know the sinking feeling in your gut that comes when you think about it again. Somehow your \u201cself\u201d \u2013 the you that you knew before the relationship began - got ignored, changed, forgotten, absorbed, or even ridiculed. There are lots of reasons how this could happen. Actual abuse, manipulation by someone with narcissistic traits or other disorders, being lied to and deceived. Doing all the giving and very little receiving. I could go on and on about the \u201cwhy\u2019. But today, in this episode sponsored by BetterHelp, I'll be sharing my own story of "self"-recovery. And we'll turn to Dr. Guy Winch's advice about putting you back together again \u2013 but in a new and hopefully wiser way.

The listener email is from a man whose wife displays many of the traits of perfectly hidden depression, but he doesn\u2019t know how to approach her, and he\u2019s also wondering about how perfectionism could be viewed through the lens of attachment theory.

Important Links:

BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!

Test to assess attachment styles found in Psychology Today

The\xa0article by Dr. Guy Winch

Article entitled "The Darker Side of Perfectionism which addresses its relationship with perfectionism

You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast,\xa0SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford.\xa0Subscribe\xa0to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you\u2019d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression\xa0has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And it's available in paperback, eBook or as an audiobook!

Now there's another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You\u2019ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you\u2019re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I\u2019ll look forward to hearing from you!

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Test to assess attachment styles found in Psychology Today

The\xa0article by Dr. Guy Winch

Article entitled "The Darker Side of Perfectionism which addresses its relationship with perfectionism

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