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Published: Feb. 14, 2020, 6 a.m.

Valentines can hold as much angst for people as the holiday season. And if you have conflict or estrangement or alienation within your relationship, then that pain can become more distinct. Today we\u2019re going to focus on what can cause these kinds of problems. But as usual, we\u2019re also focusing on \u201cwhat you can do about it.\u201d I\u2019ll use a couples therapy case from my own practice that shows that even though a problem may seem insurmountable, and like the relationship is over, there are four attitudes and actions that can help you find your way back to each other \u2013 and even to love.

Our listener email today is a very poignant one from a young man whose relationship with his mom was rocky due to her being abusive. But now she\u2019s died of a second bout with cancer. And he finds himself pushing away others who love him, except for his two year-old child. He wants to understand his actions, and I\u2019ll do my best to answer his question.

Important Links:

Podcast on handling narcissism in relationships

Podcast on loving someone with borderline personality disorder

You can hear more relationship advice and many other topics by listening to my podcast,\xa0SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford.\xa0Subscribe\xa0to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you\u2019d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression\xa0has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there\u2019s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You\u2019ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you\u2019re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I\u2019ll look forward to hearing from you!

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