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Quoting from my book: Freeing Yourself From the Narcissist in Your Life: "Envy is a secret, taboo emotion. People don't talk about their envies. Being envious makes us look bad...envy in the narcissist is skillfully hidden...After all , he knows he is the best. Why should he be envious of someone who is his inferior."

The narcissist makes up for his inability to have a genuine relationship by desiring what others have. He devalues other human beings, especially those he views as having more social and financial advantages..."

"Beneath all the bravado--the elaborate facade of superiority, grand delusions and haughty disdain of others, lies an insatiable hunger for what others have." 

You are very different from the high level narcissist: genuine, of fine character, wise, knowledgeable, empathic. You are moving forward along your own pathway of healing, recovery, transformation and creativity. 

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