05/07/07: The Republican Non-Debate, Part 2

Published: May 10, 2007, 11 p.m.

The Republicans held their first presidential "debate" last Thursday (whilst we were preparing for that night's broadcast), hosted by MSNBC's resident Giuliani whore, Chris "He Cleaned The Pee Smell Himself" Matthews. It was not much of a debate, unless you count the "Whose knuckles drag on the ground most?" issue, as, for the most part, these guys are all the same. In this segment, you will hear all the candidates' opinions on abortion rights (including Giuliani's flipflop and Sen. Sam Brownback's "glorious day" comment) and stem-cell research (where the majority of the candidates said, "Thanks, Mrs. Reagan, for hosting us, but we don't care for your cause). Also hear Giuliani's closing remarks: 9/11 9/11 Terror Terror! They have nothing more to sell us than fear, hatred, and distrust. Jared and Ralph endured the whole fiasco so you don't have to.