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This week on the Cis Are Getting Out of Hand, we review this article.
https://postnuclearera.wordpress.com/2017/04/21/progressive-cisgender-parents-are-failing-our-kids/
For both kids and adults, how should cis people walk the line between “they’re cis but don’t conform to gender roles” and “they’re trans”?
Kids: Insisting that your daughter is a “tomboy” could quash budding realization of transmasculinity (Ari’s personal experience)... OR, it could be true that they are just a tomboyish girl, and that is also valid. How do we navigate this, especially for young children who may not be able to fully verbalize their thoughts and feelings?
“But situating straight and cisgender as a “fine” way for a child to be and queer and transgender as somehow dangerous is homophobic and transphobic. And if the kid turns out to be any kind of LGBTQIA, those subtle messages could make a child feel less safe and less able to come out.”
“We need to stop setting up being cisgender as “fine” and being transgender as some kind of failure that we’ll deal with and “love them no matter what.” We need to start out by supporting our kids no matter how they identify, and by keeping our nervous feelings about that to ourselves… If what really makes us nervous is that other people might make our kids’ lives harder if they aren’t cis, then we need to stop giving those “other people” a head start by doing it for them.”
“Instead of positioning themselves as their kid’s biggest supporter, they are the first gender gatekeepers, the first people telling their child “it will be very hard to be what you want to be.””
Adults: I’ve heard from many people who are questioning whether they are NB or just an atypical member of their assigned gender.
Also, what are our thoughts when we see a stranger in public who looks gender nonconforming? Do we assume they’re trans? How might those assumptions differ between cis and trans people?

This show is part of the Trans Podcaster Visibility Initiative.