#648: Lessons in Building Rapport from Experts in Terrorist Interrogation

Published: Sept. 30, 2020, 3:46 p.m.

b'What do you imagine when you imagine a terrorist being interrogated\\xa0by an intelligence officer? The former getting roughed up? The latter yelling, banging his fists on the table, and demanding that the detainee talk?\\n\\nMy guests today argue that using force in this way to get what you want isn\'t effective when you\'re dealing with a terrorist, or, for that matter, a teenager. Their names are Laurence and Emily Alison, and they\'re a married pair of forensic psychologists, as well as the authors of\\xa0Rapport: The Four Ways to Read People. We begin our conversation with how through their extensive experience\\xa0in training police, military, and security agencies like the FBI and CIA on how to conduct interrogations\\xa0of criminals and terrorists, the Alisons discovered that literal and metaphorical browbeating was ineffective in inducing communication and cooperation, and that methods which built rapport were much more successful. We then discuss why building rapport in order to handle conflict, avoid arguments, and create connections is important not only in interrogation\\xa0rooms but at work and at home. From there we dive into the four elements that make up this model of interpersonal communication, the last of which we demonstrate with some role play. We end our conversation with the idea of the "animal wheel," in which different personality styles are represented by a mouse, lion, T-Rex, and monkey, and the importance of understanding\\xa0your own interpersonal style and that of the person you\'re engaging with, so you can predict how they\'ll react, and adapt accordingly.\\xa0\\n\\nGet the show notes at aom.is/rapport.'