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b'In the modern age,\\xa0shame\\xa0is often seen as an unmitigated bad. According to this popular view, all\\xa0shame\\xa0is negative\\xa0and toxic and steps should be taken to avoid and rid oneself of it. My guest today, however, makes the contrarian\\xa0case that some\\xa0shame\\xa0is actually necessary to develop a true sense of self.\\xa0\\n\\nHis name is Joseph Burgo, he\\u2019s a clinical psychologist and the author of the book\\xa0Shame: Free Yourself, Find Joy, and Build True Self-Esteem. Today on the show Joseph and I discuss what exactly\\xa0shame\\xa0is, what it feels like, and the difference between toxic\\xa0shame\\xa0and productive\\xa0shame. Joseph then walks us through the sources of\\xa0shame\\xa0and how childhood\\xa0shame\\xa0can mark us for life. We then discuss tactics we use to mask or avoid feelings of\\xa0shame, how these masking behaviors can sometimes get in the way of us making progress in our lives, and more productive ways to engage with\\xa0shame. Joseph then digs into the culture of online shaming and the dangers we face as a society when we\\xa0shame\\xa0men by pathologizing healthy masculine attributes like assertiveness, risk taking, and competitiveness. \\n\\nGet the show notes at aom.is/shame.'