E210 | Assertiveness: How to Ask for What You Want and Get What You Need

Published: Feb. 21, 2022, 5:01 a.m.

Assertiveness is key to getting what we want and/or need, but getting it wrong can cost us tremendously…

“When we push too hard, or in an ineffective way, our counterparts may resist giving us the material outcomes we want or our relationships might fray. When we do not push hard enough, we fail to have our own needs met and risk undermining our own well‐being.” (Ames, 2008)

So what do we do when we rely on assertion to get to our desired outcome but each person we interact with will define, interpret and react to it differently?

On today’s episode we break down:

  • What is assertiveness and how does it differ from aggressiveness?
  • How can we properly align our assertive behavior with the situation?
  • The bright side of assertiveness we’ve been neglecting 
  • What (if any) is the difference in assertiveness for females vs. males?
  • Tactics and strategies for being more assertive

Speaking of assertiveness… We’ve been getting a lot of questions recently about how to improve communication in personal relationships. While much of what we share pertains to improving our professional communication skills, all of these same tactics can and should be applied at home. 

If you want a place to practice having a hard conversation with your parents, negotiating with your kids or even just relating better to your spouse, come to our Apprenticeship communication workshops- our next one is in Des Moines, Iowa (April 9-10th). You can also check out where else we’ll be going by going to artofcoaching.com/events

Today’s episode is brought to you by two of our partners: 

Dynamic Fitness & Strength: If you’re in the market for affordable, customizable equipment with customer service that won’t be beat, these are your guys. Their team has over 160 years of coaching experience so they obviously know what coaches and athletes want / need; When you’re ready to build that dream facility, or just upgrade your home gym head to mydynamicfitness.com and tell them the Art of Coaching Team sent you. 

VersaClimber: Some people might have a love-hate relationship with these guys but we have a LOVE-LOVE relationship with them. No matter the type of athlete, when it comes to low impact, full body conditioning- there’s not a more efficient piece of equipment out there. Make sure to check them out at versaclimber.com and again, tell them we sent you!