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Episode 032\\u2014What is the Color of Love?

There are some huge issues in the world today. To address some of those I sat down with my long-time friend, Sheila Ruffin. Sheila is a world-wide missionary and prayer warrior who has been instrumental in teaching me deeper things of the Spirit of God.\\xa0

She\\u2019s also a mom, grandma and pastor\\u2019s wife. Sheila is the type of woman that oozes the presence of God. When she walks in the room, people pay attention. It\\u2019s almost like she\\u2019s escorting God into the room or He\\u2019s escorting her!

This is a special podcast in that it is longer than usual. We actually cut some to fit it into a podcast. It\\u2019s not on my usual topic of weight loss, but friends, racial issues and tensions in the world today are going to affect us in different ways.\\xa0

Understanding what\\u2019s going on in the world is so important right now. Loving our brothers and sisters is also important as is following what God wants us to do during this time to be peacemakers is of primary importance.

When I weighed 430 pounds, when I walked into a room full of people, especially a church, I would look around to see if I was the biggest one in the room. If I was, I would sit in the back where I hoped, despite my size, no one would see me, or I could blend into the wallpaper. There was a shame element to it.

Sheila is not overweight, but she has the same experience only it was happening because her skin was darker than the majority of people where she lives in our town of around 100,000. She added that she also felt an element of shame for being different from others, for growing up knowing she couldn\\u2019t go to certain bathrooms, eat a certain restaurants or stay in certain hotels when they traveled to see relatives in Illinois.

She added, \\u201cWhen we walk into a room, we are looking to see who else of color is in the room or to see if I\\u2019m the only one and if so, there could be something going on here I\\u2019m not aware of. For us that is just normal. I\\u2019m either the only one or one of a few. I\\u2019m used to that, but some don\\u2019t like the discomfort of being the only one. Black people feel safe among our people. I can be myself. When I go where I am the only one, I don\\u2019t know if I can be myself.\\u201d

Over time God has encouraged her to be herself, but before that she said it felt like she was almost dying because she wasn\\u2019t being herself because, \\u201cI tend to be loud when I worship. But I was tamping that down.\\u201d Then she read 2 Samuel 6.\\xa0

In that chapter David comes into Jerusalem with those carrying the ark of the Lord. He is \\u201cdancing before the Lord with all His might\\u201d (verse 14).\\xa0 His wife, Michal berates him for what he did and calls him a \\u201cvulgar fellow.\\u201d David\\u2019s response in verses 21-22 is, \\u201cI will celebrate before the Lord. I will become even more undignified than this.\\u201d\\xa0

After that, something happened in me. The presence of God said, \\u201cSheila get over it.\\u201d I got up and ran all over that place. Then, during a time of prayer, a friend of hers, who happened to be white, told her, \\u201cThe Lord says, \\u2018He made you that way and He likes it.\\u2019\\u201d\\xa0\\xa0

At one point when she was headed into some countries of the world where fear reigns rampant for Christians, Sheila knew she had a spirit of fear within her that needed to be dealt with. What she thought might just be things in her immediate biological family, she began to realize went back generations.

\\u201cIt\\u2019s a spirit of fear I have dealt with all my life,\\u201d she explained. \\u201cIt\\u2019s the spirit of fear that has been put on the black community. It goes back to times when they\\u2019d lynch people across the street from the black community and leave ten men hanging there for all to see. It\\u2019s things like that that bring terror and fear. We\\u2019ve lived in fear for hundreds of years. We\\u2019ve heard these stories from our grandmothers or experienced them all our lives.\\u201d

She added that she had to forgive the court system and others all down through the generations. \\u201cThe fear had roots in the hangings, in the terror at night when you didn\\u2019t know if they would come for you for no reason at all.\\u201d

She added, \\u201cI know as a Christian I need to forgive, even if you never say you are sorry. Even if the government never changes, I have to forgive. I have to be willing to give up that rage, no matter how scary it is. There has to be repentance on both sides. There has to be a recognition that there might be a problem here.\\u201d

The issues our nation is facing today won\\u2019t be solved by humanistic or political endeavors. They will only be solved by loving people, getting to know people who are different from us. \\u201cWe need relationship,\\u201d Sheila emphasized. \\u201cIf you don\\u2019t know any black people, if you haven\\u2019t talked to any, then you believe anything you hear and anything you see.\\u201d

In the final analysis only one thing will turn this country around and that is reliance of God. \\u201cWe need to pray and fast and we need to do it together until heaven answers,\\u201d she added.\\xa0

This podcast ends with powerful prayers spoken to God between two women who want to see and understand the color of love.

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To follow Sheila on Facebook go to: Sheila A. Kitchen Ruffin (https://www.facebook.com/sheilaakitchen.ruffin)

To follow Teresa on Facebook go to: Teresa Shields Parker (https://www.facebook.com/TeresaShieldsParker)

To find Christian weight loss resources, go to: https://www.teresashieldsparker.com/