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Nothing says "Spring Break!" like an island adventure with Homeland Security and Jesse Ventura. 

Join us as we swear at llamas, hide from the Montauk Monster, check ourselves for Nazi ticks, and ponder the spectacle of Jesse wrestling with a bear. And maybe also a tornado.

Before it's all said and done, we'll also be pondering a government spokesperson's inappropriate rope tricks and abruptly heading to Kansas to stare at a corn field. 

Worst spring break ever? Maybe that's because all this really boils down to is a rehash of Stephen King's The Stand. 

We're suffering through and reporting back on Inside America's Only Foreign Animal Disease Laboratory: Plum Island on YouTube and Conspiracy Theory with Jesse Ventura, Season 2, Episode 1: Plum Island on Vimeo.

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Theme music: "Mexicana Massacre" by Tomb Dragomir off his Instrumental Psycho Synth Album