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Your house is really out to get you. So say three Canadians from HGTV Canada, and they have the propane-filled air mattresses to prove it.

Our three "experts" go to great lengths to prove the most dangerous things you can own are a bag of flour, a tiki bar, and a ceiling fan, but all they really prove is that the stupid was inside themselves all along. If you really want to be afraid of something, be afraid of these chuckleheads and their air cannon. 

Along the way, we'll take a hard look at our polite neighbor to the north, and ponder whether this terribly lackluster entertainment is the price you pay for things like no one having to go bankrupt for medical care. 

We're suffering through and reporting back on House Hazards, available to stream on for free for Amazon Prime members.

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Theme music: "Mexicana Massacre" by Tomb Dragomir off his Instrumental Psycho Synth Album