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We're feeling green around the gills after watching a very dry documentary about absinthe. And this documentary knows what it did wrong, because it attempts to distract us with tales of murder, scantily clad green women, and a miscast Rowdy Roddy Piper (and that last one sorta works, because we love that guy).

Also featuring a criminally underused Linda Blair, narration by Richard Grieco, and an appearance by Devanny Pinn (a lovely actress who once wished Axel a Happy Birthday). Marvel with us that such an interesting group of people came together to make...this?

We're suffering through and reporting back on The Green Fairy, available to stream for free for Amazon Prime members.

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Theme music: "Mexicana Massacre" by Tomb Dragomir off his Instrumental Psycho Synth Album