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b'Where No Researcher Should Tread; By Cowell R. Augh, Ph.D.; From Volume CLVI, Number 3 of Speculative Grammarian, May 2009. \\u2014 We, the linguistic community at large, owe a great deal of thanks to our esteemed colleague Quentin Popinjay Snodgrass for alerting us to the dangers of lexicalism. A hero of his stature doesn\\u2019t come along every day, and it would be wise of us to pay close attention to his advice\\u2014and, may I say, it is my general belief that many of us have done just that. There are those, however, who either remain ignorant of the horrors of lexicalism, or deny its ability to corrupt the minds of students and academics alike. \\u201cEveryone in my department abhors lexicalist theories of grammar!\\u201d chortles John T. Department Chair. \\u201cWhy should I remain on guard?\\u201d In times of war (for, realistically, what is this if not warfare?), though, one must be prepared for anything\\u2014especially when the enemy appears in the guise of an ally: language itself! (Read by David J. Peterson.)'