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b'The Linguistics Wars; by D\\xe6riam Landec, Ph.D., l\\u2019\\xc9cole de SpecGram, Istanbul; From Volume CLI, Number 1 of Speculative Grammarian, January 2006. \\u2014 As is widely known\\u2014though not exhaustively covered in the linguistic, academic, or mainstream press\\u2014an unfortunate series of events that have become widely known as \\u201cThe Linguistics Wars\\u201d unfolded in Montana in the spring of 2005. Over the course of a few days, several devastating attacks were launched between the Montana Morphemic Militia (or M\\xb3)\\u2014a group that has been variously described as a linguistic-oriented paramilitary organization and a military-oriented paralinguistic organization\\u2014and the Montana field office of the First Earth Battalion (or F.E.B.)\\u2014a formerly secret but still active unit of the U.S. Army established in the late 1970s to exploit paranormal and other alternative forms of military intervention. (Read by Trey Jones, Joey Whitford, Bill Spruiell, David J. Peterson, Kristin Franco, Colleen Barry, and Brendan \\u201cSchnookywookums\\u201d O\\u2019Toole.)'