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The big story of the tech week that was this time was Apple's astonishingly great (again) fiscal Q1 financials, in which the company made enough in revenue to match more than half of the $160 billion they plan on repatriating into the US in the near future -- in just three months. It wasn't entirely rainbows and unicorns, cadets, but pretty close -- and Mike and Charles look briefly at the numbers and spend a bit more time noting that initial pundit and media reports overlooked an important factor, and that recent rumors about the iPhone X were, as we predicted, completely wrong. In addition to busting the myth of the unpopular iPhone X, we also put paid to the mistaken view that Apple's software is any worse than it was during whatever one believes was its "golden age." The crew also take a look at the growing but painfully slow success of Apple Pay, the company's growing interest in India, a new repair program for some iPhone 7 owners (and an update on the iPhone battery replacement program), and new problems (again) with the Surface Pro 4. Oddly, there aren't 16 various agencies quizzing Microsoft about this. There's also a technical look at the HomePod versus Google's Home Max, news about the 18-core iMac Pro (EXTREME!), updates on the betas of iOS 11.3 and macOS 10.13.4, more eGPU stuff to chew on, Nintendo iOS news, things that are not happening till 2019, some recent but questionable rumors (including the possible iPhone SE 2), and a little easter egg for those who listen to the very end of the credits. All this and more, cadets, so tune in and get ready for ludicrous-speed news and commentary!