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Mike and Charles are back in their command seats with a big bag of brickbats to deliver to all and sundry, from bad headline writers, to stock pundits, to phone sellers, and beyond. The tour of the tech news galaxy starts with the big story of the week -- the launch of the iPhone X and all the usual hysteria that accompanies that, along with news that the iPhone 8 is actually selling just fine (and a theory about why we were told otherwise last week), and a warning about buying your iPhone from Best Buy. Also discussed are Apple's new leather sleeve for the MacBook, a new rant from Mike about entitled Mac owners, balanced with some good news for Mac owners -- new super-fast SSD expansion options from OWC. Also covered in this episode: the latest legal wranglings, from the University of Wisconsin to a re-re-retrial of patent damages from the first Apple vs. Samsung trial (yes, eight years on); the FBI being whiny babies; Apple's smackdown of the "Face ID accuracy reduced" lie; Microsoft kills off the Kinect, and Google needs to work on its QA; and the Amazon CloudCam and (the ill-thought-out) Key idea. The return of the Lightning Round sees more insight on the Cochlear Nucleus 7 hearing implant, Walmart becoming more friendly to Apple products in their IT, Honda's new CarPlay-compatible Gold Wing motorcycle, and news that NYC is replacing the Metrocard with contactless payment systems at last. Last but not least, Mike and Charles take a closer look at insurer John Hancock's offer for a cheap Apple Watch ... and what's behind that. All this and more, cadets, so make sure you have your truth detectors tucked into your utility belts -- the space junk is thick on this orbit!