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Getting Through Depression

I used to get severely depressed - mostly from artistic rejection, lack of money, illogical goals and various naivet\\xe9 for most of my life. The energy trying to suck me down became more and more visceral, even visual. The closest image I can compare it to is a whirlpool of dark gravity pulling me down. It would start at my feet, move up to my ankles, and eventually I was wrested down and spat out into the hellish world of disconnectedness and pointlessness.

It would take several weeks to recover, until I had clambered up enough to find hope and purpose. I hated that cycle. I vowed to observe how it worked, and that I would not be a victim. What I discovered was that if I began to notice when the whirling shadow was at my ankles, I could extract myself before being devoured. If I did nothing about it, I then had to go the full theme-park ride into despair.

Eventually I could see the ogre of murk coming, and developed strategies that reset my usual laziness into positively charged activities that distracted and redeployed my focus. For me, it was practicing piano, creating new works and trying new areas that interested me. Of course it was frightening and embarassing to do new things, but it seemed to be the perfect antidote to fight against the melancholia.

I pretty much just said,\\u2019yes\\u2019 to everything. I was willing to do anything except fall into the maelstrom again. I followed my \\u2018inner guide\\u2019 and allowed it to take me where it would. I discovered I was interested in world folk tales, legends, myths, as well as world music.\\xa0

So, in there, in your world, there are sparks that light up when you get close to them - whether it is sports, medicine, law, arts\\u2026 Anything that allows your mind to get out of thinking about yourself and unveil new and unexplored worlds. Here: I give you permssion to pass through new and unexpected portals of perception, uncovering hidden gems you may not even know it existed.\\xa0

The world is infinite in its revelations. The way I found to get out of depression is to do new things. So, perhaps it is time step outside and breathe from your diaphragm. Contemplate that all of this: the air, the sun, the rain the earth, is so you can find what brings you peace and joy. It is there. But it takes letting go of the old ways and trying new things. New things at which you will fail. Sometimes you will succeed. Failure and success and not good scales to judge yourself on. What is more important is if you are learning and growing.\\xa0

Salaam Alaykum, murids, seekers, curious and interested listeners,

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