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b'Shame is the most painful of all emotions. People will go to almost any length to avoid feeling it. The problem with addiction as a way to avoid shame is that once the addictive behavior ends, the shame comes back many fold. And it takes stronger and stronger doses of the addiction to move into good feelings again. Working with shame involves helping the person transform toxic shame that leads to the addiction into healthy shame. Carol the Coach interviews Bret Lyon who is an expert in helping sex addicts work through the stages of shame.In toxic shame the addict freezes, feels helpless and is unable to change\\xa0 behavior. In healthy shame a person can reassess, see oneselves as a flawed human being, living in a community of flawed human beings, who made a mistake and is open to the possibilty of change.'