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Welcome to episode #32! In this week's episode, Matt and Braden share essentials every person needs to know to help a friend out of a porn addiction.

Set Expectations and Establish Boundaries
To have an accountability relationship last and end in success, expectations and boundaries should be established right from the start and then communicated about throughout. Boundaries with time, how to communicate, and what to share are all important in setting a relationship up for success.

Develop A Skill-Set
There are a variety of skills that are effective in leading someone to breaking out of pornography use. Asking open-ended probing questions, listening to the promptings of the Holy Spirit, and speaking to the person's heart rather than looking for a verbal agreement are all powerful skills to develop to hold someone accountable. Doing this will develop leadership in a person so that when they're on their own, they'll start to lead themselves well rather than being solely reliant on others to help them out of tough spots.

Understand The Person And The Addiction
A full-life disclosure helps you understand the other person's struggles and patterns of behaviour. Get them to tell you when they screw up, how they screw up, how often, and all of the other details that go along with their addiction. Get them to tell you their fantasies so that you can know exactly when they might be in danger and what their heart really craves.

Secondly, do some research on how the brain works in porn users. This will help you understand why the person you're trying to help will likely relapse, lie, and go silent at times throughout your relationship. You don't need a PHD in brain science, but some basic research is effective. You can visit yourbrainonporn.com or fightthenewdrug.com for more information. 

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Next week, Braden and his wife Kristen dive into some of the many benefits experienced in life after porn.

Resources
Porneia Webinar Series: October 3rd - December 5th
Your Pure Freedom Journey starting at just $37/month or $297/year
Personal 1-on-1 Coaching with Matt Cline through Restored Ministries
FamilyLife Canada:  Resources and events to strengthen your marriage
Covenant Eyes Accountability Software - use promo code RM30 for 30 days free

Podcast Hosts
BRADEN HAFNER

Braden is the Regional Director in Alberta for FamilyLife Canada. He has been married for 12 years to his wife Kristen, and they live in Edmonton, Alberta. He is passionate about seeing marriages grow and thrive, and helping couples move to a deeper oneness with one another and with God. FamilyLife Canada has a variety of resources and events to help you and your spouse take your marriage to the next level. See what would benefit you at www.familylifecanada.com

MATT CLINE

Matt and his wife Louise raise their little guy, David, in Edmonton, Alberta. He is honored to do what he can to tackle the epidemic of pornography and sexual perversion in every way possible. Seeing lives and marriages get free and experience the love of God in profound ways is what drives him every day. He leads Restored Ministries, is a certified speaker and coach for the John Maxwell Team, and formerly played hockey in the WHL and for Hockey Canada. You can visit www.restoredministries.ca.