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For healing in your marriage after sexual betrayal, visit www.restoredministries.ca/marriageundefiled. Use promo code: RESTORED to save 10% off!

Welcome to episode #183! This week, Matt and Braden answer more listener questions about betrayal trauma, dry spells, fasting, the love of God and more!

Creating safety and security takes time and understanding.

Remember that when you are the one who confesses, you knew it was coming. You feel more free and more at peace. However, your spouse is in turmoil. They are at the beginning of the process while you are further ahead. This is a fresh wound for them and they don\\u2019t know what to do. There needs to be an understanding that the porn use that is brought in to the marriage can bring betrayal trauma or PTSD. Both spouses need to be receiving help to process and move closer to our spouse. However, both sides need to look at the plank in their own eyes to move towards healing and reconciliation. The spouse who brought the sin in needs to understand it\\u2019s okay to walk in God\\u2019s grace. The spouse who is affected needs to remove the plank because they might be looking through a lens of judgement, sin and condemnation and that will hinder health in their own heart. The sin is never okay - but we have to remember that we are all imperfect and we all need the grace of God everyday.\\xa0 \\xa0

How do we handle long dry spells?\\xa0

There can be many reasons for a dry spell. 1 Corinthians 7 has a command from God to come together sexually. It is not supposed to be an afterthought - it needs to be prioritized. Sometimes it looks like getting away, but find ways to connect. There is physical intimacy you can do without having intercourse. If you have a physical dry spell, you also have an emotional dry spell - you\\u2019re not having fun w/ your spouse, having dates. When you\\u2019re not connecting physically - there is an impact. Find out what you need to talk through with your spouse to find out why you aren\\u2019t connecting. Be in a heart posture of wanting to hear from your spouse.\\xa0

It is important to fast and pursue wholeness and intimacy with God

We live our lives as \\u201cif you fast and when you sin\\u201d but we need to have the scriptural mindset of \\u201cIf you sin and when you fast\\u201d. This is the best way for us to live. Jesus started his ministry by fasting. He was more aware of God because of his fasting. Fasting is an entryway into revelation and power from God. It is important for us to incorporate and prioritize fasting into our lives. There are different ways and amounts of time we can fast but we want to pay attention to what God does during that time.\\xa0

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Resources

Pure Freedom Community for men 18+

Pure Freedom Journey for men and women

Book a FREE call (men)

Course for marriages

FamilyLife Canada: Resources and events to strengthen your marriage

Online marriage resources (FamilyLife Canada)

Covenant Eyes Accountability Software - use promo code RM30 for 30 days free

Fasting Resources:

\\u201cThe Celebration of Discipline\\u201d by Richard Foster

\\u201cGod In My Everything\\u201d by Ken Shigematsu

\\u201cSacred Pathways\\u201d by Gary Thomas

\\u201cAtomic Power with God, Thru Prayer and Fasting\\u201d by Franklin Hall

Podcast Hosts

BRADEN HAFNER

Braden is the Regional Director in Alberta for FamilyLife Canada. He has been married for 14 years to his wife Kristen, and they live in Edmonton, Alberta. He is passionate about seeing marriages grow and thrive, and helping couples move to a deeper oneness with one another and with God. FamilyLife Canada has a variety of resources and events to help you and your spouse take your marriage to the next level. See what would benefit you at www.familylifecanada.com

MATT CLINE

Matt and his wife Louise raise their little guys, David and Oliver, in Edmonton, Alberta. He is honoured to do what he can to tackle the epidemic of pornography and sexual perversion in every way possible. Seeing lives and marriages get free and experience the love of God in profound ways is what drives him every day. He leads Restored Ministries, is a certified speaker and coach for the John Maxwell Team, and formerly played hockey in the WHL and for Hockey Canada. You can visit www.restoredministries.ca.