E.112 - Solo-Poly, Non-Hierarchical Poly, and Just Dating...What's the Difference? with Roy Graff

Published: Oct. 13, 2021, noon

Roy Graff has been on the show once before, but in the months that followed he has teamed up with several other creators for events and he's now moderating the men's Discord channel for Remodeled Love.

After sharing a few details of his collaborations, we jump right into talking about the differences in solo-poly, non-hierarchical, and just dating around. Roy talks about some common misconceptions around solo-poly, including the perceived lack of commitment that people incorrectly believe SoPo folks have in their relationships.

To get a better understanding of some relational differences, we get into the what makes open relationships and swinging different from polyamory, and Roy reminds us that long-term intimate relationships open the door for more. It's unreasonable to expect complete coldness, and we can't control or regulate feelings in non-monogamous relationships.

We then dig into some things that are important to SoPo folx, such as independence and autonomy, and how those values coincide with being able to offer commitment in a relationship. Roy offers great insight on these potentially competing values, and shares reflections on his own experience while offering thoughts on the relationships he's seen in his coaching practice.

All around this was a fantastic round two with Roy, and a conversation you won't want to miss!

Learn more about Roy at www.openrelating.love and follow him everywhere @openrelating !

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