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A New Jersey school principal told her faculty that pajamas, do-rags and bonnets are ‘their culture’, referring to the school's black pupils. If this would upset us, what argument do we have with Mo’nique?

She is giving no less than what I received growing up from the women responsible for shaping and cultivating me into womanhood. The rearing, training and chiding (when needed) that I received in my youth conditioned me to appreciate mentorship and guidance as an adult.

It is simple. We need to do better and stop hating the person giving the correction. We may want to ‘do as we please’ but if what we please defies decency and etiquette then we ought to be challenged.

We should want more for ourselves than forcing society to accept our regressed attitudes and behaviors. This is not our culture. It is emblematic of our fall from grace and our own self regard.

These words can be tough to hear for women who are so encouraged to ‘live your life’ and ‘do what makes you happy’. We are being misguided and are misguiding our young folks with this ‘do you’ lifestyle.

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